I’m told the church is full of imperfect people worshipping a perfect God. I say that is true. I’m one of the imperfect. There is something wrong that I find I have to address without making it an issue that makes people upset. I prefer God makes us convicted instead.

I’m in a church that fits the category of many churches. This is a young church in terms of both years of existence and leadership. I have over forty-seven years in church, minus a couple of years where I crashed and burned from “doing” instead of “being”. I may explain that again sometime, but I think I have done so in past posts. I had a long road to get myself back in line with my calling. Despite all that I have done against God, He has been kind to me with unending blessings. I fall at His feet asking Him to change me. And He has done so with unconditional love. Even now, I still contend with the remains of my past life, but if asked of you, my answer will always be, I chose God above all. Nothing else that presents itself in temptation can control me or change my response to God. I try to be the best disciple I can be. That means giving up all else. God and I continue to talk daily, and my spirit is always on to hear Him. I can’t seem to understand why all Christians cannot align themselves to give up their sins to get closer to Him. Therein lies my observation that something is wrong.

I go to church Sunday after Sunday and see the same people. I’ve seen a lot of different people pass through, and some stay. I love them all, and my heart hurts that in time, they still adhere to the same sins they came with. There appears to be no repentance from the sins they walk in. I see people who have not controlled their speech. I see immaturity in senior folks who have not allowed their lives to mature in God. They still exhibit childish responses to something that offends them. I see people leaving because they are fleeing from investigative processes by social services. I’ve seen preachers with narcissistic attitudes and would overlord people he found useful to his cause and then cast them aside when he had extracted what he needed from them through manipulation. I even allowed him to do so to me, but knowing what he was doing, I limited what extent he would take me. My own closest friend at the time was found to have been embezzling the church for some eleven years. I’ve seen that the principal of a Christian school was found to be grooming high school boys for his lust and was expelled from his position. I was brought before the Elders myself for trying to get a woman in the church to stop cheating on her husband by procedures that weren’t following scriptural process. God forgave me, and I’m sure others sought and received forgiveness, yet the problems are still practiced in church. We had a worship leader who was a good friend who fought with his homosexuality. There was a lot of background on this issue, but he finally gave in to his sin and left to pursue his lusts. Presently, we have a “couple” in church who are a lesbian couple, yet they have no intention of pursuing repentance. I don’t mind having them in the house. I love both of them for who they are, not what they are, but my heart hurts that they think this is okay. My brother ceased talking with me several years ago because I couldn’t condone his lifestyle, even while still caring for him. Lots of people have come and gone for various reasons, and most follow their own unique reason.

I have a pastor who tries his best to be a pastor. I give him credit for that, but I note he has issues no different from what I do. We all fight our own earthly nature. That is a consequential issue in our learning process during our walk. I have insight from God, and I see things my pastor doesn’t. I can only let him make his own mistakes, so it will be his indelible learning. A man of experience cannot be convinced of something otherwise. Experience always leaves a permanent mark towards maturity.

What’s wrong? I don’t see enough of the Father in the house to change people decisively. I see people going to the altar every Sunday with the same problems. Why? Why God? Why do we not learn through it all? My heart cries out for us to completely and decisively repent.