As of late I’ve started to wonder. With each succeeding year I grow older, less able, less attentive. I have less memory and stamina.
My most intriguing of thoughts is why I have no emotion. No unction, no feelings. I think to myself what shall I do to re-establish my emotional side or maybe it’s something entirely different.
There are things I definitely know, such as I’m where I’m supposed to be. I’m with who I’m supposed to be with. I can feel the connection. It’s real. It’s right, but there is no emotion attached to it.
Is this because I’m getting to an age of belief without having to have emotion to affect me?
This evening I asked God would it take another mental breaking to obtain my emotional state and before I could finish my question a resounding “Yes” was my answer. So, God, how and why? Why does it necessitate another mental breaking to get me back to that state of being?
I suppose in the coming time I will know. It will come to me and I will know. Libby will know. All who are close to me will know. My only hope that it doesn’t have a physical consequence to it as well. Time will tell.
Livin' Small 