As of late I’ve started to wonder. With each succeeding year I grow older, less able, less attentive. I have less memory and stamina.
My most intriguing of thoughts is why I have no emotion. No unction, no feelings. I think to myself what shall I do to re-establish my emotional side or maybe it’s something entirely different.
There are things I definitely know, such as I’m where I’m supposed to be. I’m with who I’m supposed to be with. I can feel the connection. It’s real. It’s right, but there is no emotion attached to it.
Is this because I’m getting to an age of belief without having to have emotion to affect me?
This evening I asked God would it take another mental breaking to obtain my emotional state and before I could finish my question a resounding “Yes” was my answer. So, God, how and why? Why does it necessitate another mental breaking to get me back to that state of being?
I suppose in the coming time I will know. It will come to me and I will know. Libby will know. All who are close to me will know. My only hope that it doesn’t have a physical consequence to it as well. Time will tell.
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About Jim
I'm a 71 yr old guy, who had worked in Naval Hospital Camp Lejeune for 28 yrs and now retired as of 31 Dec 16. I've worked in medical records, Health Benefits Department, Billing, the IT department and retired as the Personnel Security Manager for the hospital. I'm a musician and Corvette enthusiast. Yes, I have had two. I traded my second Corvette for a Harley Davidson Fat Boy mid-summer 2019. I've already ridden about seven thousand miles. I'm also searching for a fresh new outlook on life with new spiritual insight among other things. I was ordained a minister on 20190202. I've become certified with the American Chaplaincy Association through Aidan University in June '21. I'm the Director of Emerge Chaplain's Response Team. I've found that with the unconditional love of my companion, Libby Rowe life is complete through God. She's a beautiful, vibrant, giving woman who gives her all in everything she puts her mind to do. She and I married 24 July 2015. She's also taking the Apprentice course to obtain her ordination as well. She finishes up her studies for full ordination in Feb '22. She has a blog too called Under a Carolina Moon. Give it a visit.
Livin' Small 