I was just sitting down to my computer and I play Christian music 95% of the time and the song by Hillsong “Starts and Ends” began to play and the phrase “Lay your burden down” caught my attention.

God knows how I feel. At that moment it caught my ear. I was feeling somewhat burdened by life. I’ve always felt I had to be in control of everything around me to in order to have stability.

Lately, I’ve been changing my thought patterns to rely on God to take care of me and just do as I know is necessary. I hope I’m conveying this correctly. God has been building in me the tangible work of faith and hope. Faith is an important component of our knowledge of God.

Faith relieves us of the burdens because in it we lay down our cares for this world.

One thing that concerns me is that lately I’ve been dreaming of friends and relatives who are deceased. I take these dreams to have meaning.

The one I had last night was of a school friend with whom I went through all twelve grades with. She died several years ago, but I don’t know the circumstances. She was always vivacious and happy.

The last time I saw her was not long after we had graduated. She had married and had just had a child. I went over to see the baby and her and we talked about good times and her funny story about how the doctor said he wanted to talk to her about birth control. Her response was she didn’t just want to talk about it, but do something about it.

In the dream it was just before our class reunion and she came to visit me at my old home place. She came with one of my brothers. She looked okay, but as the dream progressed she started looking distressed. My brother told her they had to go and as she came past me on the way out I noticed her skin was growing ashen and a vein was standing out on her forehead. Her hair greyed. I told her as she left that I hoped to see her at the reunion, but somehow I knew that was not possible. Just a small side note. The brother that told her it was time to go is also deceased.

I started these type of dreams about a week ago and I’ve felt strangely different in my wake times.

I know for a fact I’m beginning to lean more on God. I am forever thankful for what He has been to me. He has been gracious and giving. He is truly my source. Bodies grow old, but the mind has not aged. It is forever learning and growing. My spirit is stronger now more than any time in the past. Who I used to be is forever fading into mere memories of who I once was. I have a strong sense of who I am transcending into.

He has told my wife and me that we have things to do still. We’re preparing to go on our first mission trip together. The people we will see are desperate, hungry and lack about every convenience we take for granted. And they live right here in our own country in the coal mining communities of Kentucky. The mines are closed and it has left them destitute. Drug lords have moved in, yet they can’t even afford to buy drugs, so they make Drano their drug of choice. Teenage girls sell their bodies to make money for food for their families.

I think in some way what I’m experiencing is preparing me to handle situations that we will encounter. I have to lay down my burden in order to see theirs more clearly and untainted by my own issues. I have to see them with God’s eyes. My heart is beginning to feel their burden. The tears of my spirit are beginning to flow for them.