I’ve been writing blog posts for close to fifteen years. I’ve had a handful of blogs. One was “Musings of an Old Man”. It contained mostly my autobiography which was about 125 pages when I stopped and I was only to my late 20’s. It was mostly about being a young man growing up from my first memories till I got totally solid in my walk with God and I stopped. The reason was my first marriage fell apart about then and I totally lost interest. It was a dark time when I was diagnosed with severe depression and I was having panic attacks.

Then came my recovery. The name of the next blog was “The Recovery Room”. It was poems and writings of my dismay over my situation and how I evolved out of it. This was about the same time I met Libby. She was that puzzle piece in my life that I’d been missing. With her by my side, she became my rock. She picked me up when I was down. She gave me strength when I had none. I love her with a love like no other second only to that of my Lord. I treasure her in my recovery and we are mates for life.

Then came this blog. I haven’t been back to my first days on this one. The title of the blog comes from where I grew up. It was a community named Small. For years I thought the name came from the lack of a better idea until one day I learned it was named after a man, whose last name was Small. Anyway I’d alway heard of the phrase “Living large”, so I use a play on words and came up with “Living Small”. Now you know the rest of the story.

I treasure the times I’ve felt to write. It’s history of my progression in writing. Oh, I know I still have grammatical and spelling issues, but in all I’m sure you, the reader, gets my gist.

So here I sit tonight to share with you why I’m excited. The first of this week I was contacted by a publisher that wanted to talk to me. I’ve had several want my attention, but I felt something about this particular man. So I set up an appointment to talk to him. About Tuesday I found time to converse with him about my manuscript for a book I’ve written called “Suicide – Satan’s Killing Field”. It’s not a big book. It’s perhaps fifty pages at best, but I had to think back about my mentor’s book writings. His first books were in this page range and they changed my life. Then he went on to a major Christian publisher that published something like eighteen of his writings that were full sized writings in paperback and hardback. By the time he died he had written some sixty five to seventy books from the size I stated to around 120 pages.

Well to say the least this man requested my manuscript for review to see if it fit their Christian publishing company. Then came yesterday. I got an email with a letter of acceptance with comments about my manuscript with a proposed contract to publish it. I am stoked. I’ve read the contract and it appears legitimate. The terms are realistic and doable. I emailed the man back and we are to set up another conversation to customize the contract to my liking and once I put my investment into it we will be off and running.

I’m going to have my book published by Trinity Broadcasting Network’s subsidary, Trinity Publishing. They

will do everything for me for what I consider a very nominal cost and my royalities will be 100% till my investment is recouped and then a 70/30 split for us. They have over 20 million viewers on their network and if I get just 10% of the viewers involved, the words God gave me to tell people about suicide and it’s ugly head will be spread and perhaps save some lives from this needless act.

Yes, there is money, but God spoke to Libby and me about 7-10 months ago that we would be taken care with blessing of finance in our old age. Like, I’m 71 now, so I’m listening, okay? Besides my intent is to be well off enough financially to further involve myself in the active Chaplaincy ministry I recently became director over as a volunteer. I was not guaranteed any salary, but in this I felt a salary isn’t necessary and I should do it as an act of faith fulfilled for God.

So there it is. In due diligence, I’m doing a background check on the man I’m talking to so that I can say my investment with TBN’s publishing arm is truly going to serve what God has for me well enough to take care of my need to pursue my function as the Director for Emerge Chaplains Response Team under Emerge Ministries.

I’m not concerned about fame of selling books or making money. All I want is to pursue the calling of God on my life and if this is the path, so shall it be. My book will be published if not with TBN, it will be somewhere. For now I’ve asked God for His direction and the door is still open. So the principle I learned as a young Christian still applies. As long as the door is open, walk through it. If it closes another will open. God’s will be done. I’m on my way.