Sometimes it pays to step back from the rush that can happen when we get busy. Several years ago I crashed from “doing” instead of “being”. I’ve found myself approaching that edge over the last few
weeks and it begs to question why am I here?
I’ve been the Director of Emerge Chaplains Response Team for a year in its formative beginning. I have also wrote and found a publisher for my book, which is now on the market. I left one job that was demanding and went to another that is less hours, yet still demanding. The latter job will settle a few weeks in, but still. . . All this has occurred since I retired as a Personnel Security Manager for the US Navy.
Projects my wife wants to do are also things I like and would really like to see to fruitition. She wants a sunroom and I feel God has given us enough windows to do it and I have a contractor, so it is coming together. How to obtain money to do the job is the challenge.
I lost my niece a little over a week ago. That has affected me. I have only two offspring (an niece and a nephew) of my four brothers. The other just celebrated six years of marriage and have a young son of their own, so that is a bright side.
Also, about six weeks ago I had an accident in my wife’s SUV. She and her sister were with me. The SUV was totaled. I still have to deal with the citation, which will go away, I’m told when the insurance company settles. They have so I will need to get an attorney to run it through the court. I’ve been driving something since I was seven years old. With all this time behind me I’ve never had an accident and that bothers me, too. The accident still has me off center mentally.
Still, with all that’s going on and fighting a bout of depression, I have found I’m better equipped to recognize what is happening and I have to put a halt to it. It is now time to step back and find my center in “being”. It is okay to do things, but when it becomes the focal point of all things it is wrong. I’m going to have to cut back and do one thing I know I have to do.
I have been given the title to a new book “May I Introduce You?” It has begun. Yet all the doing has gotten in the way of being. Being is what will produce the book.
So it is time to refocus on my relationship with God. Don’t let yourself get off the road to maturing yourself in getting to know God. Let go of your little projects and take a look at where you are. God has bigger plans.