God is a good God. I’m still recovering from surgery. It will be three weeks this coming Monday. At my age I’m finding it difficult to get back to normal. I’ve developed a pain in the upper center of my chest externally when I exert myself. It goes away pretty quickly when I stop. Since school got out for the summer, I’ve had my implanted lenses laser polished and it made a lot of difference. After my exam earlier this week it was noted my vision had improved after the procedure. My visit to my urologist was good and bad. When they put me under for the procedure they found a stone in my bladder that they crushed so it could pass. The healing process was coming along very well, but the bad news was the biopsy of my prostate showed an adenocarcinoma. The good side of that is it was so small and insignificant that the doctor said there was no need for treatment and about 95% of people with this type cancer survive for most of ten years even without treatment. However I will be going back in November for another biopsy just to be sure.

Now back to the chest pain. I went for my usual six month checkup with my cardiologist and he couldn’t seem less worried about the chest pain. He leans the way that I do that it is likely muscular in nature and unless it become intolerable we are simply going to keep watch on it. I go back in February unless needed.

One morning this week I had a strange occurance. I couldn’t say if I was semi-awake or asleep. I had a dream I suppose that I saw a blackness, then in the center came a small blue area. As it grew it broke open with a bright white light. Then it closed and opened again. It seemed to reopen a few times in various ways and then would close. The light was very bright white. I conveyed this to my wife. She wouldn’t respond as to what she thought. For now, inless I experience that again I’m leaving it to my permanent memories.

I’ve recently been swinging between depression and sanity. All my life I’ve practiced diversions to the depression. I feel I’m pretty good at maintaining stability. I had a brother that committed suicide. I’m nowhere near that. Getting older has become a challenge. From this there is no escape. God has been very good to me in softening the landing on this fact of life. In fact I’ve learned the loss of my body does not end my life. Upon accepting Jesus having given me a way, all of us that have will bypass death and enter eternal life.

I don’t love God for selfish reasons. Perhaps it could have had such an inkling of such when I was young, but that has long gone away. I feel I can lay down my body and let Him take me without issue. This isn’t a proclamation of my demise. It’s a simple statement from me today. I love God for His love for me. I appreciate what He has done for me. I wish all that reads my words could let them come alive in themselves. It would create a peace within that does indeed pass all understanding.