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I’m sad this afternoon. My first Papillon, Paige passed on this afternoon in my arms. She had been failing for a bit, but last night it took a quick decline. By morning she couldn’t walk. I sat with her most of the afternoon until she died. She was about fourteen years old. I’m going to miss her agonizing barking, mental issues, but most of all those little dark eyes looking at me telling me she loved me.

I cried.

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It’s a simple solution to the world. How it came about is a difficult thing. Jesus, the

Son of God, had to die. To die a most horrible death. The physical aspects are incomprehensible. Torn to shreds by a cat o’ nine tails of sorts. Nailed to a cross.

Yet I feel the worst part of being on the cross was when Jesus felt that separation from His Father. The physical pain is indeed unbearable, but to feel the Father turned His back is more than any physical pain that had been endured.

There are millions of people who feel the despair of living without something to fill that void in their heart. I believe all men have that little compartment in their heart that is empty till they come to realize it was meant for God to live there. If there was no horror in living without God, why do people constantly try to fill that compartment?

They fill it with at least one of the seven deadly sins. Drugs, men, women, money, power will never fill that compartment. It can be filled to overflowing, but never satisfying.

If you read this and feel empty, perhaps you need to consider from where your source of fulfillment comes from. I was saved at sixteen, yet it took till my latter twenties to make a solid commitment. Then being baptized in the Holy Spirit magnified the presence of His life in me.

Then came a test to see what I was truly wanting. One evening after fasting a week with such a rich presence, He withdrew from me as I drove to work. I sensed just a small fraction of what Jesus felt on the cross. There was a total absence of God. At that point I felt if I could not live with His presence in my life I no longer needed to live and for a split second I considered ended my life, but like a rush, He came back in. That was the evening I was baptized in His Spirit.

Since that time I have felt His love and his discipline. Like any good father, He has guided my path for the last forty one years. I’ve known God’s voice longer, but true dedication to Him came at this point. True, I did lose my way for a while, but He was always there and we always talked even though I was unchurched, so to speak.

By in large, I have given everything I have to Him for His service. God loves me. He can do that for you. Once you accept you are His, He will never leave you or forsake you. If you turn away, He will always be there when you turn around.

Dying on the cross was the turning point for mankind. Everyone for eternity was written in the Book of Life. The only way it’s blotted out is if you don’t respond to the gift of Life He so freely gave. Judgment is based on how you respond. God gave His all. All you have to do is give yours.

It’s a simple thing. Just ask Him to abide with you and surrender to your future in eternal life. Ask forgiveness of your past and the nature you were born under and your own sins. Turn about and walk towards Him.

Posted in Christian, church, Love, Ponderings, Possibilities, Prayer, Priorities, Salvation, Sobering Thoughts, Spiritual | Leave a comment

Sunday Morning

I feel torn this morning. My wife and I have become involved in a church we

dearly love. The website I developed for it is here.

It’s still under construction, so if you visit there you’ll find it incomplete.

Part of my point this morning is we’ve been in a play called IMMANUEL that was written by two of our church members. I know they mean well and for the sake of brevity many of the events portrayed are shortened. Again, from my past post concerning my need for order, I cannot find myself doing anything without precise Biblical accuracy. This isn’t my thrust for this post, though.

My wife and I have been so busy this week. The fly in the ointment for us is we’ve both been down with allergy related issued coupled with some sort of head cold, congestion problem. By Friday evening my wife’s left eye had become very puffy, red and oozing a mucus that ran like a stream. Her voice was about gone.

The play ran last week on Friday and Saturday evening and again this past two nights, Friday and Saturday. With my wife’s issues, I include myself as well with all but the eyes.

On top of that I worked my regular two school bus routes all week and included two school activities on Thursday and Friday that made my days eleven hours long each. I’m beyond tired for my sixty eight year old body. By last evening both my wife’s eye’s were involved. My otherwise beautiful wife looked very bad, yet she insisted on performing her part as Naomi.

Last evening when we got home we crashed into our bed and unlike other Sunday mornings we didn’t get up for at least a couple of hours later than normal. We are exhausted to say the least.

So this morning, with one look at my wife, I decided it was a no-go for church. I didn’t want her cooking breakfast as she usually does. I went out and bought something for breakfast.

The only time we’re getting up today is to eat or go to the bathroom. We need to rest. I don’t think God intends for us to abuse our bodies. We must be good stewards and use good judgment.

So we stayed home this morning, but our hearts are there.

Posted in Abundant life, church, Family, Health, Old Age, Priorities, Sobering Thoughts, Spiritual Investment | 3 Comments

The Origin of Easter

This is so in line with what I’ve learned decades ago. It’s a tough read for those steeped in tradition. But remember that the traditions of men of no effect. Learn what the Bible has to say. Not man.

Overcoming The Times

The Origins of Easter are rooted in European traditions. The name Easter comes from a pagan figure called Esatre (or Eostre) who was celebrated as the Goddess of Spring by the Saxons of Northern Europe.

A festival called Esatre was held during the spring. Equinox by these people to honor her. The Goddess Esatre’s earthly symbol was the RABBIT, which was also known as a symbol of fertility.

Originally, there were some very pagan (and sometimes utterly evil), practices that went along with the celebration. TODAY EASTER IS ALMOST A COMPLETELY COMMERCIALIZED HOLIDAY . WITH ALL THE FOCUS ON EASTER EGGS AND THE EASTER BUNNY BEING REMNANTS OF THE GODDESS WORSHIP.

In the Christian Faith, Easter has become to mean the celebration of the Resurrection of Christ, three days after His Crucifixion. It is the oldest Christian holiday and the most important day of the church year because of the…

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OCD Leaves Me In A Flux

Lately it’s been sort of a “what to do” phase. Being pretty much organized with everything in its place and a place for everything it’s kind of difficult to do when you have other people in your house who have little organizational skills. Even my fridge is so full of useless items it’s hard to find what is mine.

Take this as a “for instance”. We have to get up every morning at four. My wife has to be to work at six and my first bus run starts at 5:55 am. I do the breakfast while my wife gets ready for work. I scramble her eggs and set out her salsa, which she adds to it. Some mornings she will ask for scrambled with cheese and bacon bits. I turn on the coffee and while I’m cooking her breakfast I pour my coffee. Then when I set out her bowl of food, I prepare mine. Two fried eggs with bacon bits and mozzarella cheese.

To get to the point above in a timely fashion I require the following. The night before I set out a small frying pan, spatula, and two bowls with spoons on the stove top. Water goes into the coffee maker with the needed amount of coffee. My cup is set down with sweetener and no-sugar creamer. A drying towel is next to the stove top to put the eggs on so they don’t roll off the counter. So now the morning will go smoothly once this is done. I can’t do this and go to bed early when the extras in my house don’t cook dinner until eight pm. Getting up at four requires an early bedtime.

Fortunately, they will be gone shortly, but it crimps my timing and sense of order. I’m also living out of a box in our bedroom, because they inhabit my guest room where I keep my clothes so my wife and I don’t run into each other while getting ready in the morning.

I can’t help it. I’m OCD. Always have been. If I still ate M&M’s I’d pour them out and put them in order by color. When I worked in an office setting, one friend of mine noticed what I was doing and if I wasn’t looking, she’d miss-match them. Drove me nuts. Everything has to be symmetrical. I can’t stand lopsidedness. Everything has to balance.

With all this stuff going on and my ways, it has left me in a flux. I can’t nail anything down. Everything moves about the time I put it all where I want it. I don’t live with this condition very well.

I don’t suppose I can bad-mouth the extras in the house. They don’t have my condition. Even then if they did they might have an idea of where things go that don’t match up to my balance of life. So, I will muddle through for another week and hopefully I can get back to normal.

On another note. Something else has thrown me off track. I was conscripted to play a Roman soldier in an Easter play. I don’t really celebrate Easter. By in large, the back drop of Easter is pagan. Of course Jesus died on the cross and resurrected. That I firmly believe, but just like Christmas and Santa Claus, we have the Easter bunny. I won’t get into the depths of my thoughts on holidays. I simply put up with them knowing it’s a good time to get family (or what’s left of it) together and share some time in one place. One oddity I note here just to mention it. The Fed recognizes Christmas, but not Easter as a holiday. Why one and not the other? Our state recognizes both.

Now I’m rambling. I guess I should look to see if the stove top is cleared so I can set up and go to bed.

Posted in Health, OCD, Patience, Ponderings, Priorities | Tagged , | 2 Comments


As the off-spring of a Preacher’s Kid (PK) I have that inside view of the family of religious upbringing. My mom was one of seven girls and two boys. One of the boys was killed in an accident before ten years old when he fell from a horse while riding. All of those children are now gone except for one. My remaining aunt will be 93 this year. Hopefully so, I might add.

What this post is for is to say something about the importance of priorities in the callings of ministry to preachers or ministers in any level of function within the church structure.

One of the qualifications of a man who aspires to ministry should take note of the following scripture.

One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)I Tim 3:4-5

I’ve seen the results of the family structure that failed to a small degree to even larger degrees.

I’ve seen my granddad in the pulpit. He was truly a man of God, called according to His purpose. I will not besmirch his name nor speak evil of his family. What I state is fact as a warning to young men who are entering the ministry or have started pursuing the ministry and starting a family.

One of the biggest mistakes I have seen made is probably not intentional at all and it lies in the idea that men, even myself, can get tied up in what they are doing and forgetting to prioritize their lives to the will of God.

First, I give myself as an example. In over thirty years in ministry there came a point when I found myself “doing” and not “being”. I sat in the sound booth one Wednesday evening wondering to myself why was I even there. God was a distant second or even third in my priorities by that time. I lost not only my way, but my then wife, and any and all contact with my two sons. Even after ten years one son still does not talk to me. One talks to me, but keeps his distance.

I have since remarried and have a very sound life now, of which I consider the most sane years of my life. I had to come to a place where I lost most everything I had. God was faithful to restore me. For that I’m grateful and I am now an ordained minister of the Gospel. I do believe what I went through is here to help someone.

What I observed of my mom’s family was not of a similar circumstance particularly, but my granddad did put a good bit more emphasis into his ministry than his family. Most all the girls were okay as best I could remember except for one that ran away from her family leaving her kids and husband to hide in another city. The son did the same thing. Both returned home after a lengthy time, but this aunt committed suicide and the son drank a good bit as I remember. All families have issues of this nature somewhere. My own mom ran away from home when I was a teen for fear of my dad being mad at her for using money we didn’t have to spend on what she used it for. It took a couple of days, but we found her and brought her back home and we mended that fence. All I’ll say is that my mom spent the money on her dad and it could have been avoided. I know that’s cryptic, but let’s leave it at that.

The pastor of the church I grew up in had issues that I cannot be sure of other than it finally came to a head and he had to relieve himself of the ministry and he went into seclusion for some time over, what I would only say came from misplaced priorities. He did at some point return to the ministry, but was never quite the same.

The pastor who took over after that one had two daughters and a son. The girls were teens and the son was a little younger. Being the type of person I was, I thought no bad thoughts about anyone. I found the truth to be different. After I graduated from high school I worked in heavy construction building production plants. One such place was a chromium plant in Castle Hayne, NC. There I met two guys in my craft who happened to have known this particular pastor’s daughters. I was shocked by the reality of what the two girls were like. They were very promiscuous. I’m not at liberty to say what was told to me, but to know they were PK’s doing such things left me speechless. Why were they like this? I can only assume that the pastor had set his priorities in the wrong place and the girls took to a wild streak in rebellion to him and God.

In the years since, I’ve seen pastors fall from all kinds of things and it can only be because of wrong priorities. Certainly, we need to keep our eyes on God and function to the fullest in our calling, but I revert back to the verse above in I Timothy.

But we must prioritize our lives. In ruling our own house, we must not only discipline our children and love our wife, but we must also show by example what a good man is towards the family structure. He must be able to view his family as a creation of God to surround him as he fulfills God’s purpose. He must nourish that family with grace, mercy and love by teaching them how to be effective, giving members of the Christian community and on out into the world we live. He must give himself to them as much and more as he would give to a congregation.

My wife and I are presently under a young man and his bride of one year this coming month and they are now with child in the womb. The ministry God has called him to is developing into what I predict will be a powerhouse of the Holy Ghost. My mind had been contemplating his need to prioritize in the face of change within his new wife and child’s forthcoming. My prayer has been answered and I will continue to pray for him and his new family. He’s only twenty-five years old.

What made me feel joy was when the congregation received a letter to everyone that he has prioritized that certain times of the week from here on are for just him, his wife and preparation for their child to come. He’s a wise man to do so.

If you have questions as to why you feel like your priorities are out of order I consider it a sign that you should indeed take time to examine where you are with God and those around you.

Posted in Abundant life, Children, Christian, church, Family, Home, Love, Ponderings, Prayer, Priorities, Sobering Thoughts, Spiritual Investments | Leave a comment


I’ve been away from my keyboard for a week or so for the most part. Too much on my plate.

I’m working on our church’s new ministry to be launched with the coming of spring. It’s called SERVOLUTION.

I’m going for a small group of men and women who like to work in yards, cutting, trimming and cleaning out flower beds. Prime target is folks who can’t afford a lawn service. I’ve noticed a large number of disabled and limited income people in our area. We don’t want to step on the toes of lawn service people who make a living at it. But there are those who can’t pay the price of lawn service. That’s what we’re here for.

Then there’s our church’s Easter play called Immanuel. I was conscripted into the Roman army. I’m a soldier and it’s thankfully a non-speaking part since I carry a heavy Southern accent. I’d make the folks in Deliverance sound “downtown”.

Anyway, once things quieten down a bit, I’ll be back. I see what some of you are doing and it all looks great!

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