Livin' Small

The end of an era. That’s what yesterday was. My Aunt Marion Rowe Lee was laid to rest. Her daughter, Teresa has had the unenviable task of seeing her younger brother, Darrell, her dad and now her mom go on before her. Left with none of her own family to make memories with is indeed a solemn thought. She does, however, have the support of her good husband, Mike, and her sons and their wives and of course her grand daughters. She has the love of a good family she and her husband have created over the years to support her.

As for me, it’s the end of an era where Aunt Marion was the lasts of my dad’s family. My granddad John Colie and grandmother Elsie Grey, son’s James and Daryl, daughters Gerald and Marion are all gone now. More directly, I am the oldest of my dad’s, James, family with himself, Peggy, and all younger than me to include Danny, Mike, Timmy and Jamie. All of my family is gone except Jamie, who lives in Hawaii and is a mere 47 years old. A young man still in my book.

The memory I share here today is of my aunt. I was a young lad with a few memories that still remain. I remember her as being a young woman who was fresh out of high school and still living at home. At some point she went to work at the A&P grocery store in New Bern where she met this gangly tall man few years older, who worked there. He lived in Reelsboro, between New Bern and Bayboro. They hit it off and in my little mind were getting married in short order.

Being about five years old at the time I was ripe for being included in their wedding. I

There I am as the ring bearer

was assigned the duties of ring bearer, so I was dressed up, given a pillow with their two rings on it and given the duty to bring them to the alter during the procession to seal their vows with.

I remember that after they married they would always come for Sunday dinner at grandmother’s house. I don’t remember the order of their off-spring, but Teresa and Darrell came along in that order. But there were twins that were born to the Lee family that passed away at birth named Garry and Barry.

I have a vivid memory of something that occurred and I hope it doesn’t upset those of you who read this. Grandmother came home late one evening behind Aunt Marion and Uncle James when Aunt Marion was pregnant with the twins, just behind them into to the yard at grandmother’s house. As they stopped she said she saw the tail lights of the car come on, but the looked like two coffins. It was the omen of the demise of the twins. They both died at full-term birth. I don’t know why, but grandmother’s vision was never forgotten to me.

Teresa was the second of my cousins I remember after Marsha, who is the daughter of the other of my dad’s sisters. Both Aunt Gerald and Aunt Marion had a girl each first and then a boy each that grew up with me and my four brothers. I remember before my granddad died that when Christmas rolled around it got busy in the house on Christmas eve with family and us kids running around. It was finally decided we would draw names for gifting instead of the previous everybody buys everybody something.

Aunt Marion and Uncle James lived in a little box of a house in Reelsboro for a while and we would occasionally visit with them. Uncle James’ mom lived just down the road from them. Their home was approximately across the road from the Reelsboro Christian Church, where a fellow high school graduate of mine, Bob Cayton came to pastor in years following his college graduation.

My problem with family history is my ex-wife kept me busy with her family during our marriage and I lost track of mine to a large degree. It became evident as time went on that she didn’t like my family and they have expressed that to me since the divorce. But that aside I did have the opportunity to visit with my Aunt Marion after they had moved to Morehead City, where Uncle James became the manager of the A&P grocery on Arendall Street. Later when A&P closed up he bought into the IGA franchise and ran it in the same location till the late eighties I understand.

The story goes on that my aunt worked on with the church she helped establish in various positions. My uncle later on went to work in the men’s department at Belks and worked there until shortly before his death in his mid 80’s.

My uncle loved Aunt Marion for 61 years of marriage. He was an astute business man, but still a gentle man to his family and wife. He gave much more than he was required to do. Aunt Marion never lacked.

After my separation and divorce I would visit with her because by that time she was in Crystal Bluff Rehab more than she was at home. She was a determined woman with a sort of chromudgen sort of way in expressing her opinion. She never liked my beard and to be honest it was her last comment to me before I left from visiting her the last time I saw her before her death. Her grandson was sitting in the room at the hospice told me not to worry about that. She didn’t like his either.

In all reality Aunt Marion had a solid faith in God. The last day I saw her before her death I walked into her hospital room and she was sitting up partially in her bed watching a Gaither Family video of gospel music. Teresa said she’d been singing along with them.

I feel certain, and can likely be attested by her family, she was prepared to go home to once again be with the love of her life. It was a bit ironic that she was taken from the hospital to the hospice where she was placed in the same room where Uncle James had passed a year earlier. It was as if it was meant to be. She went on to her Lord there with her family around her, peacefully and quietly.

I’ve led a life of ups and downs, but there have been moments that stick with me as good memories in spite of circumstances. She and Uncle James chose me to be their ring bearer at their wedding. Before her death she made it known to Teresa that she wanted

I’m the pall bearer on the left with the hat.

 

me to be a pall bearer at her funeral. I accepted this request with honor to her.

From ring bearer to pall bearer and all the in between. Many years and many memories were created. Not only in my life, but I’m sure in hers as well. We do carry a connection as blood family, but also in life in it’s whole expanse. I’m honored to have known her and that which she created in life. She was an excellent example of a wife, mother and aunt.

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I would suppose one of the hardest things to do in life is nothing at all.  Tough lesson to say the least even at my age.

But even with that said, I have to look back at several times in my life I reached a breaking point and gave up and God stepped in and took over.  I used to own The ReCycle Shop Bicycle Repair and Sales store in Richlands back in the early 80’s.  I was making as much a go at it as possible.  The store had been open for about six months (it was March) and I went on a ministry trip with Pastor Kelley Varner to Rustburg and Lynchburg VA for a week.  While I was gone my ex-wife watched the business.  One evening I called and she said the woman who owned the building had sent workers on the roof to put a new one on.  I thought that was okay, except when I got back they had not put a new roof on and it had begun to rain.  It rained solid for two or three days and I stood in the business the second day back after the trip with water dripping on me and I was standing in water a quarter inch deep on the floor.  I was devastated.  I cried when I called my ex-wife and said I was closing the store and giving up.  I couldn’t do it any longer.

What happened next was when God stepped in.  Almost as soon as I hung up a friend of mine called me.  He had a business a couple of blocks away.  He came over and helped me squeegee the water off the floor out the door.  The Venter’s Insurance office next door offered their back office room at storage for my stock.  The Nautilus fitness center down near the Scotchman offered to allow me to store my bicycles in their backroom.  That was Gary Canady, who is a land surveyor now.  People came out of no where.  Another man, Bryant Lewis, came driving up to the store and told me he had a place he’d rent me out on the main highway.  It was a newly renovated store space.  I was  closed a couple of weeks, but we reopened in a new location and seemed like things went on like usual until September and business seemed to completely die.  I was at a total loss of what to do and about that time I got a phone call.

It was the owner of the Schwinn dealership in Jacksonville.  He wanted me to manage his store part time, but a month after starting he asked me to manage it full time.  I said only if he’d buy my store.  He wrote me a check to make it short.  I worked there for a little over five years.  It was probably one of the biggest tests of my life to date for me to work there, but God provided.

Another memorable time was when we were told we had to move.  We had bought and paid for a 14×70 mobile home and moved it on a lot in the countryside of Richlands on Cox Road next to Billy and Margie Cox.  Ronnie, their son, came to us after five years there and said he was building a brood house for raising doves and was going to house migrant workers next to us in the old home place.  So we scoured the area for a new place, but we wanted a new large place to live.  We had to sell our mobile home, purchase land and have a modular home build by our specs.  I’m trying to shorten this.  Well, we found what came to be 2 acres of land for ten thousand and we had Star Homes headed by Sue Simpson and her husband order up the house.  It seemed to run on and on.  Elmer Futrell was the land owner and he was in a bind to get rid of it and he had been on my doorstep wanting to know when we’d close on this deal.  I was about to lose my mind over it.  The mobile home had not sold.

I gave up when it looked as though we’d failed to seal the deal and I went to take a nap one afternoon and when I awoke I found two different buyers for the mobile home.  I got what I wanted for the mobile home and the construction of the house was finished and we moved in shortly afterward.  Giving up let God take over and it fell together like clock work.

I told Libby once that when God acts to be ready.  My house on “the loop” was experiencing a large insurance burden because I simply didn’t have a fire hydrant withing a 1000 ft of the house in either direction.  It would have meant a huge increase in my house payment I couldn’t afford.  Libby had been asking me to look at our present home for some time.

When we looked at our present home on Trott Road it was the right size for us and the price was right, but the agent said someone else was wanting it and she’d been dealing with them for several months.  It had a garage.  You have to know I have not had a garage in decades and loved the place, so I told the agent in spite of someone else wanting it I would give the seller what they wanted for the house.  That was a Saturday.  We were to go back the next morning after early church to see the inside of the garage since it was still locked on Saturday when we toured the house.

Well, Saturday evening the agent called and said they would consider us if we were preapproved, so after church the next morning we went to a guy who approved us for the loan and we drove back to view the garage.  When we got here the agent said she had the strangest thing happen.  The people she’d been dealing with about the house for those several months had backed out.  It left us to buy the house without competition.

Monday morning I was led by God to ask Jeff Smith, who owned the property behind me if he wanted to buy my property.  He looked at me with unbelief and asked me was I serious.  I said yes and to make a long story short, he bought the house with the stipulation we had to be out immediately.  Our agent contacted the family that owned the house we wanted and told them we’d like to move in and pay them rent till closing.  They agreed, so Tuesday and Wednesday we moved in.  So, Saturday, we looked at the house, Sunday were approved without a competitive buyer and sold my house Monday and moved into the new home on Tuesday.  It was that quick.

It came by allowing God to move.  I was learning a lesson in giving it to God.

Those illustrations are not the only ones I have to share.  It’s happened many times.  These are just the monumental ones.

This comes to today.  Even though I haven’t yet seen a check for my retirement and it’s going on three months I’ve found myself in yet another one of these kinds of situations.  When I asked God what to do about it, He said “I got this”.  What else can I say?  He’s never left me without.  I’ve always had a roof over my head, vehicles to drive, money enough to live by.  I’ve quit worrying about tomorrow.  I enjoy life much more today by doing so.

I hope if you’ve made it so far into this writing you’ve understood this one thing.  God is first.  Giving yourself to Him first will create an abundance of provision just in time as you need it.  It may not be when you “want” it, but it will be there when you “need” it.

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I don’t make resolutions.  Any changes in my life started last year when it counted. I know that I have gradually built up expression of my faith over the most of last year. I’ve seen people who burst on the scene with fervency or zeal, if you will, and become shooting stars. I’ve always had faith in God. I let it wane due to circumstances. No more. The future, that started last year, is to build back upon the foundations inside me.

I once sat in the sound booth at PTM and ruminated on the loss of why I was there. I concluded that it was because I became heavy on doing instead of being. The Lord has blessed me with fresh new life. I don’t intend to take that lightly and squander it.

I want to walk out the path God has given me.  He has given me a wife who is like-minded.  We shall walk together.  Our connection is strong.

No longer shall we wander like the Israelites did for forty years in the wilderness, because of their unbelief.  The Promised Land lies ahead.  We shall walk towards it and shall see the Jordan parted, even though at flood stage, to allow passage there.

Once over, there are still battles to be fought, but God is with us.  If you intend to make a resolution, do you intend to continue to wander, or do you intend to find your place and walk towards your promise?

I just read a post on Facebook where someone said they were tired of people saying there was a new year coming with people who say they will turn a new leaf and be a new person.  This person declared to all that no one had to worry.  He was going to be the same ole crass person next year as much as he was this year  I’m putting it politely.

I know it was a tongue-in-cheek comment, but think about how many people are actually like that.  No ambition, so direction, just following what’s hot in the moment.

I can’t live that way.  I have to move forward in the passing of time whether it’s a new year or not.  I’m blessed with a relationship with God.  I have a wonderful wife who has the most open spirit of anyone I know.  She wants all of God she can scoop up.

This new year finds me retired, but aside from that it’s only a change of responsibilities.  I left one set of them for another.  The challenges of life are still present.  Circumstances are still rolling in and like tests when I was in school I have to learn in them and pass through them on to a newer bigger challenge or test.

When I was a young man I would have been crushed under the weight of some of the things I’ve had to encounter in the progression of my years.  Smaller tests became bigger tests and learning how to handle them by seeking God’s answer and applying the direction made me stronger in the passing of time.

I did things as a young man that should have gotten me some serious trouble, but God covered me.  Looking back I see how much He covered me.  That’s why today I know I’m blessed.

I have watched certain people struggle with life.  I watch them fall by their own circumstance.  I’ve listened to some who tried to justify why they did what they did at the time, but failed miserably and later on paid a dear price for those inept decisions.  Some I know their background and know why they did some of the things they did.  They had no one to show them the right way to do things in life.  They were hobbled from their youth.

I’ve watched young people walk away from bad situations only to walk right back into them and then get a double portion of the same test again.  I can’t tell people what to do unless they ask for help.  Have you ever tried to give unsolicited advice?  Most times it doesn’t work, but if they were to sit down and honestly open up to me or someone who has walked like I have we could help avoid serious life mistakes.

I know that perhaps I should use the “Don’t touch fire, it burns” type of advice, but a child will be hell-bent on finding out for themselves.  I prefer to be like the husbandman of the orchard.  I will not pick fruit before it’s time.  I have to know they are ready for the pickin’.  Then I know what I say will embed itself in their spirits as seeds in the ground.  Then what comes of it is a more flourishing crop.  Be wise, but have wisdom when to speak.

So, who are you going to be this coming year?  Are you going to proclaim another empty resolution?  Or are you actually going to put yourself to the test?

Alas, I wait but for the one last day of work as I have known it for 27 yrs, 5 months and 29 days.  Don’t laugh.  I only know that count from the Civil Service HR that sent me a run down of my career status. for retirement processing.

Okay. Let me just reminisce for a moment as I sit here one day away from retirement.   That’s not to mention an entire seeming array of jobs I had before that.

Second place goes to DuPont with a little over 8 years at the plant in Brunswick county mostly as a Yarn Spinning Operator.  I was also a Utility Operator and a Baler/Cutter Operator on the creel side.

Third goes to the Bike and Surf Center in Jacksonville with five years.  The smaller jobs were starting out with Daniel’s Construction as a carpenter apprentice, changing over to Field Engineer on three jobs.  The last two with them ending me up in Wilmington.   In the middle of the construction work I spend two years in the Army.  I also attempted to sell life, accident and health insurance for a year with Western-Southern Life.

DuPont came after the insurance job.  After about six months in with DuPont there was a downturn in business and I was laid off for five months and then called back.  During that time I worked for Crowder Construction as their Chief Field Engineer.  It was a good paying job, but the boss was a tyrant.  The job site was Federal Paper Plant down in Riegalwood (Acme-Delco area), NC.  I was required to undress in the garage before entering the house when I got home from work because of the smell on my clothes.  Then I had to shower before dinner.   

I left DuPont not long after moving to Richlands and started my ReCycle Shop doing bicycle repair.  Then came the Bike and Surf Center.  The owner there was more than a tyrant there. 

After that came the list of other jobs that were short lived.  I worked for AutoZone.  The only job I ever got fired from.  The District Manager and I didn’t see eye to eye.  I later learned he got fired, too, so I figured we’re even.  I worked for Holsum Bakery and for a short stint I was their District Route Manager.  In between the year there, I worked for Kinston Wholesale Grocery driving a tractor trailer, where I got my license to drive rigs.  But after I got back to Holsum I found it wasn’t so much of an up and coming opportunity.  The Fox family that owned it was crooked as a stick.  It was then when I got a letter from the Department of the Navy to come in for an interview and ended up accepting the job in Civil Service in Outpatient Medical Records.

The rest is the 27 yrs, 5 months and 29 days.

There is so much to tell before that as a young man growing up on a farm.  My dad worked hard to grow crops and it appeared from what I remember he was good at planting crops and was blessed with bountiful growth.  I remember corn stalks seven to eight feet tall.  Tobacco that grew at least six feet tall and leaves so heavy when the dew settled on them the would break off the stalk from their own weight.  We lived off of the food he planted in garden after garden.  Meat from hogs and chickens.  Hunting season it was deer meat and sometimes squirrel.  I’m sad to say though that after all my years of thinking I was in a normal family I found many things in want.  My mom apologized to me long after dad died for his favoritism of another brother over me, the oldest.

Let me just wander.

I was a farm hand.  I started out driving a Farm-All Cub at 7 yrs old.  I hauled fertilizer to the field on a farm truck by 10 years old.  I tended over 13 acres of soy beans on my own with that Cub tractor at 13.

I hunted on my own until Danny, my brother and my best friend Dwight were old enough to hunt with me.  We three and a bunch of others from the neighborhood worked the tobacco fields a couple of summers with Hobert Walker.  Working in a tobacco field will make anyone appreciate jobs later on in life, which were a far cry better, I don’t care what it was.  Back in those days students drove the school buses and I wasn’t left out on that.  I drove bus routes for two and a half years.  A grown adult driving a bus back then was as rare as hen’s teeth unless you counted activity bus drivers.

So.  From seven years old till now makes my work career a long one, but it isn’t over.

In all those years I was as faithful as I knew how to my God, my church and leadership.  I respected them and worked in the ministry as a deacon, care pastor, printing plant manager, IT systems manager as well as a musician, playing drums in the church worship team for 25 years.  Overall I was very active for over 30 years in ministry.  Oh yes.  I tripped up and fell on occasion, but I’m no quitter.  The last fall almost got me.  Depression and anxiety attacks took their toll as well as a doomed marriage, but still I got back up, asked forgiveness and God has given me a wife and a church to call my own and my place to be.

I choose life.  I feel in all my working career I have been tried, but blessed.  When darkness loomed, light abounded.  When disease reared its ugly head, the Healer stepped on it.  He always heard my cry and answered.

This is for young adults.  Never give up.  Take circumstances as challenges.  Over come them with the Word and the Spirit.  Prove God to others through your life and you’ll never lack.  If you feel you’re sinking, stand up, you’ll probably find the water isn’t all that deep.  Let the mountain become the mole hill.  The journey of a Christian is rooted in relationship with God.  Make that a priority.

My work-a-day world ends tomorrow, but it doesn’t end my life.  That is still vital and wanted by someone.  My wife first in this life after God.  I already have a calm inside me that surpasses all else.  God has spoken to me this Word.  Don’t worry son.  I have this.

I started an Instagram account.  Never had one before.  They ask you to put in a bio.  Well I learned you have to do it in 150 characters or less.  Man, I can’t even get my fingers ta workin’ on the keyboard in so few strokes.  It went thusly:

Son of a dirt farmer from the 50’s. I speak fluent red-neck and can write it, too. Retired and finding new direction. I have a loving, beautiful wife, Libby, who I proudly take with me to make me look good.

Now, you tell me, how am I going to do a bio that covers sixty six years in 150 characters or less?  There’s always something goin’ on despite the fact that sometime I just don’t do anything.  Even doing nothing requires something.  Keeping yer eyelids closed, legs crossed or uncrossed while you nap on the recliner couch.  Arranging my four dogs around me so they have their nappin’ spot assigned so we’re all comfortable.  Gittin’ up to pee.  Reassembling said dogs back to their respectable places.  Oh, I had to make sure I have my Sun Drop on the end table in case I snore my throat dry.

So, what am I doin’ this week that would be more than what I’d do at work?  Well, I actually cooked some boneless chicken thighs in a mix of Alfredo sauce with a little bit of wine.  I’ll mix in some broccoli this afternoon for some green stuff.  By the way, the diet I’m on is doing me some good.  Unofficially, I’m not diabetic anymore.  Sugar readings for the last three months have been normal.  Weight is down from 222 to 182 and I’m lovin’ it.  I actually have more energy now to the point I find napping a chore.  It’s hard to take a nap with more energy to burn.  I did the above yesterday while I stir-fried asparagus spears and grilled two nice thick steaks for me and my baby for when she got home.

Spent my whole life yesterday afternoon and this morning activating our two new phones. Apparently Verizon had to reset our PIN #’s, which I had no idea at all what they were. Once I got them reset it seems a snap. Straight Talk with Verizon as the carrier. No more contracts. I’m done with that.

While in the midst of all that I had an attack of CDO.  That’s Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  I just can’t stand the letters out of order.  Me desk needs cleaning, but I sat here till it passed.  It’s still cluttered.  I need shelving folks.  Bad.

Another thought ran through my mind about Libby asking me if everyone in my family was preachers.  Go figure.  I’m ADHD, too.  I found from research that there are a lot of my family who preached and even some who  didn’t answer the call.  That answered my question why their lives weren’t so long and prosperous on the latter ones.

I guess I should get up and take a shower.  How random do you want me to get with this post anyway?  I can change subjects faster than a fat kid chasing an ice cream truck.

Oh, by the way.  What’s the reason for the saying I posted in the picture above?

Now, how’s that for a post?