Have you ever felt your heart has a lot to say, but your head kept getting in the way? My heart is so full of something to express, but sitting down to pull it out into written form is nearly impossible. The “me” from five years ago is still there, but has become subdued by the medications that were prescribed to me. It doesn’t affect my performance as a working individual. It affects my ability to write down my feelings.
In Biblical terms it’s the spirit at war with the soul. The will not giving up shows itself as an unbent neck. In the Bible I concluded that the reason a person bends his head forward in front of dignitaries was to show a contrite soul. The neck bearing the semblance of the will. The heart being the spirit. Until I can bend my will against the rule of my soul, my spirit cannot express itself.
Sometimes I feel like I’ve not just lost a battle but the whole war. Yet, I will still overcome. I’m too stubborn to summarily give up.