Just don’t call me late for supper.
Over the last few years confusion has arisen among friends and relatives as to my change of the name I’m called by.
First, my name is James Larry. Therein lies the foundation of all the confusion. All my life up until 2002 I was called by my middle name, which I don’t care to use. I never did. I equate it with something less than a solid masculine name. However, James, or Jim, have a more solid quality.
So, why was I not called by my first name to begin with? Well, as best I can tell, my mom wasn’t into calling “Jim” and having dad and me come to her beckon call for one of us or the other. So Larry stuck. Not saying it is not a manly name. It’s just not for me.
When I started Civil Service I was called Larry and 28 years later I was called Mr. Rowe, which took some getting used to, but that’s another story. Suffice to say when you spend that many years in one place you grow to look the part of the “Mr.” status.
Okay. 2002, after about 13 years into Civil Service I was hired into the IT department. When I reported in I knew there was a member of the staff that went by Larry. It didn’t take long to be told I could not be called by Larry, because they told me they already had one. Now was my opportunity to start the change-over process. I said, just call me James, which eventually was shortened to Jim.
My fifties was not the best decade of my life. I went through MANopause, I guess you could call it. It was worse than going through puberty. Now, when I went through puberty, I thought at times I was dying from a pimple epidemic. That and hair. Everywhere.
My fifties were filled with anxiety attacks, which the first time that happened I was at work and wanted to run away, but my being said to stay put and work through it, which I did, but the depression afterward was horrible. I was diagnosed with anxiety attacks and severe depression by my psychologist. I went through that and divorce. I made a lot of fringe decisions which I won’t divulge, but suffice to say I did successfully work through them. God has never let me down. He has given me the strength to rebuild.
I have shared the above to say this. Through it all, I gained a new life and a new identity. In the end I’ve become more stable and more understanding of others and their plights. I’m no longer capable of judging someone for their misdeeds or circumstances. I’ve learned a bent ear is better than a wagging tongue. In all this Larry was gone. He no longer existed. Jim came forth out of the cocoon, no longer a worm, but a butterfly.
That’s not to say, if you call me Larry, I won’t answer, but just know I don’t exist in that life anymore. What you see today is a totally different person than before. I like the new me. Most of all I love my Father in Heaven and my wife that I have. There are still things that aren’t settled, but I know in time all be complete. And I will see it.
So it’s Jim now. It is representative of the new me.