The Hug

Hugs. I never experienced them growing up. What is a hug? I did a quick research and found there is a list of types of hugs. Namely 11 from one particular place I

The Schumin Web » Phew! The whole place smells like Sharpie…

looked. I didn’t know there were so many. But this isn’t a posting of hugging research. It’s about one in particular.

Once upon a time when I was a teenage, I was out working the farm. I was plowing a field off a short distance from the house when I was signaled to come to the house. It seemed my mom had taken off to somewhere unknown to us. She’d ran away. Why?

In the days and few weeks leading up to this I knew my mom had been dealing with a check my dad was supposed to get in the mail and apparently had, but her story was that she’d misplaced in at someone’s home on her Avon route down a road that had washed out from recent rains. That check was supposed to pay our mortgage for an entire year. That was how my dad had it set up seeing we worked the farm and crops came in during the fall when we made our money.

After this wrangling had gone on for some time it finally came to a head when it became apparent that the missing check had taken a different path than the story presented to the family.

Something had happened in her family upstate that required the amount of money the check was for or there about. She had used it for that, but I’m ahead of myself.

My dad was beside himself with a mortgage to pay and the love of his life missing. It took a couple of days, but his sleuthing about found her hiding out with her sister. With a huge weight lifted dad went to get her and bring her home.

I was out somewhere when he came home with her, but when I came in my mom gave me a hug that about squeezed the life out of me. I knew she was sorry for what she’d done, but as evidence of why came to light we all fully understood and forgiveness was only right. To all of us it was a matter of a major life event that had been averted and we all bound ourselves to see it through. My dad negotiated the loan payment and we were able to meet the need.

But the hug. I was never really hugged while growing up. It was like a given that the family loved one another, but displays of such a thing as a hug was not a part of it. I just toughed it up and figured this was the way life was.

Even when I married the first time my first wife never hugged. In fact she didn’t like being touched. No time. The non-hugging status just carried over from my youth and I thought little of it.

When I divorced I found something that is very important and I’d been deprived of a very important part of life. Human contact. My now wife is a touchy-feelie sort. Not only hugging but holding hands while doing most anything from sitting on the couch watching a movie to walking around while shopping or for just a walk around the neighborhood. People have actually stopped and commented that there should be more of this with couples, to which we agree.

Every night before we go off to sleep, my wife and I will spend what we call, well, hugging time in bed at least. It’s the touching that counts. I’ve learned an important lesson with my wife. Hugging is this to me. It’s a transference of spiritual energy between two souls. I have felt it so many times with my wife. I crave to feel the energy she feeds me through our bodily touch. It’s not sensual. It’s spiritual. She’s a blessing to me in so many ways and the gift of God to me.

But above all the hugs I’ve ever had the most powerful remembrance I have is that hug my mom gave me when she’d returned home. It told me she loved me, she wanted forgiveness. It spoke of not wanting to let such a thing happen again. It begged for me to love her back. I always loved my mom. It never made any difference even with all her shortcomings. That hug left and indelible mark on me for my entire life.

I didn’t know why though until I met my second wife. The hugs I got from my mom afterward and my wife brought me to the knowledge of unconditional love. My mom had no idea how that worked, but my wife did and I covet the hugs I get today. It lets me know I’m loved without regret or condition.

If you don’t hug, please find it within yourself to find out what it means. It brings an intimate connection. On all levels.

About Jim

I'm a 72 yr old guy, who had worked in Naval Hospital Camp Lejeune for 28 yrs and now retired as of 31 Dec 16. I've worked in medical records, Health Benefits Department, Billing, the IT department and retired as the Personnel Security Manager for the hospital. I'm a musician and Corvette enthusiast. Yes, I have had two. I traded my second Corvette for a Harley Davidson Fat Boy mid-summer 2019. I've already ridden about seven thousand miles. I'm also searching for a fresh new outlook on life with new spiritual insight among other things. I was ordained a minister on 20190202. I've become certified with the American Chaplaincy Association through Aidan University in June '21. I've found that with the unconditional love of my companion, Libby Rowe life is complete through God. She's a beautiful, vibrant, giving woman who gives her all in everything she puts her mind to do. She and I married on 24 July 2015. She was ordained in February 2022. She has a blog too called Under a Carolina Moon. Give it a visit.
This entry was posted in Abundant life, Christian, Family, Health, Human Touch, Love, Memories, Mental Health, Soulmate, Spiritual, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Investment. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to The Hug

  1. simplywendi says:

    such a wonderful post Jim……..I so enjoyed reading how much you and your wife enjoy being in each other’s company and touching and sharing beautiful energy………..we need more of that between married couples. 🙂

  2. Terri Chadwick says:

    I’m so glad you found Libby. You always did seem so unhappy. Now I know why! You never got any hugs! I think I have given you at least one, maybe? It’s hard to give nonhuggers hugs (unless you’re married,) I have a niece in-law who grew up in a non-demonstrative family like yours and she does not accept family hugs very well. I’m almost at the point to stop trying. What do you say?

  3. Jesska says:

    I love hugging 🙂 I am always amazed when people don’t seem to be bothered, or are actively against hugs and being touched.

    Great news that you found someone who hugs the way you need to be hugged 🙂

    • Jim says:

      Thank you. I agree some people don’t like it. A lady at church ministered one Wednesday evening and mentioned she did not like to hug, but she was trying to fix that. She’s coming around now. Touch is a very important commidity in relationships. Hope you have that.

    • Jim says:

      Oh. And I just read your last post. Very insightful. Enjoyed it.

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