My wife attends a ladies group meeting the first Friday of every month. She told me this is the fourth year anniversary since the start of this ministry called WINGS. I don’t remember what it stands for. She goes for a time of sharing, prayer, a devotion and food. She usually doesn’t get home till close to midnight. I used to go with her and sit in the house with the husbands of the women. I can’t deal with the late night thirty minutes from home. When I get sleepy I’m no good.

I left out of the house this morning with a goal in mind. I was going by to see my school bus supervisor only to realize they don’t work on Friday during the summer, so I stopped back by our church and talked with the pastors present. I brought them up to date on my surgery progress and inquired about the pastor’s wife that is due to have a baby the 26th of this month. They are really having issues with this unborn child. From what my wife knows (having worked in an OB clinice for a while) this child will likely not survive without intervention from God. They’ve already assigned an oncologist to the birthing team. It’s not good. I’m going to let God do what He does best.

My wife and I had a long talk last evening while we lay in bed. I finally got it out what I’m feeling inside. God has opened up a lot of doors of understanding for me here at this end of my life. I told my wife God had initially told me I had 74 years on this earth. However He has spoken to me that he was extending my days because of my faithfulness. I still want to finish my second book. I also have a wedding ceremony to perform in October. With all that God has shown me I have become sober-minded to what lies ahead. I have a few more years and I will cross over into the heavenly realm. Untill then I’m surrendered to that fact of life. I am completely convinced of my relationship with God through Jesus. I don’t take it lightly.

I still have unresolved issues that I cannot change without change from the other side. My former wife is a bitter woman and I have written that off as a lost recovery of at least some semblance of civility. My heart breaks for my sons. Their wives dispise me. One plainly said that if I were not their husband’s dad they would have nothing to do with me. I love this one. She was like a daughter to me. The other wife has no respect for elders. It’s her way or the highway and I can’t change that. My sons have to live with them and I will not interfere with their lives because of their lack of forgiveness and understanding. I have four granddaughters that I have no input into their lives. Three of them I have not seen in five years this week. I have no harsh feeling for any of my family. I ache for their lack of understanding of God’s grace.

All in all, my recommendation to anyone that reads this is to at least make an effort to connect with family that is estranged. If they don’t want to respond, the load is off of you. It becomes their issue to resolve. What bothers me is that the last time I saw my elder son was five years ago this week. He turned fifty this year. I’m giving them nothing in my Will since I don’t think it will be appreciated. I have a nephew that will likely have something. He and his wife have a son, so passing along family items to them will likely stay in the family for some years to come.

What I’m proud of is my wife. She has prayed for his son and daughter. Both have come to a place that I consider the right road over time. They were both in a mess when I met my wife. The son and his family are now attending church and her daughter has seemingly settled down with a Christian guy whose mom and dad are great people. It’s the answer to my wife’s prayers. I’m very happy for my wife to see this. They, too, had disowned her when she filed for divorce, but oh what a change. They came to realize their dad is an abusive, selfish and controlling man. They have cut him off after repeated trys to make amends with him.

Tonight I’m completely settled in my spirit. I’ve come to accept the inevitable. I know longer fear the future. I have an eternal home. Why don’t you, the reader, make a decision such as I have to allow you the peace you need in your life?