I have to say that people got married and felt it was for always. I also believe many people got married because of their own choosing, and it led to a life of discontent, cheating, and feeling trapped. We can’t say that every spouse who left a marriage was a bad person. It works both ways. Some leave because of an abusive spouse. Some leave because of lust.

Looking back, I got married because I was just coming from a relationship with someone that was not a match for me but my fleshly desires for her were not right. Then I met this young girl still in high school. I was in the Army. I got shipped overseas for a year and a half and we developed our relationship via distance. She was also coming off a bad relationship. She was just the opposite of the girl I left. I thought it to be “safe”. We got married almost as soon as I got home from my military stint. I thought we were good. I still had no idea who she was other than from letters. I learned over time she did not like being touched. It became difficult to develop a deeper relationship.

Not to drag this out, 37 years later I found I was somewhat trapped by my youthful mistake. It was not a loving marriage. I became the issue of every problem. She tried to leave me twice, but I managed to talk her into staying. I found our marriage consisted of years only. I had concluded I would serve my life alone in a home of two.

Then I received an email from a woman I did not know, but she had been reading my autobiography. She and my brother were tight friends in high school. I emailed her back, and it bloomed from there. We had an instant connection. I concluded I had to leave my marriage. Some hated me. Much of my family told me they didn’t know how I managed to live with this woman for so many years in my first marriage. I am a writer, so bear with me. I’ll make this as short as possible. I lost everything. I lost my two sons’ confidence. They have not talked much to me at all in fifteen years. I lost all my retirement money in the settlement, lawyers, and satisfying necessities to obtain the final divorce decree. I did this because the woman I met fifteen years ago became my wife. We are inseparable. I found out what true unconditional love is all about. Both of us went through hell for the first four years. We’ve been married for ten years in July this year.

To put everything in perspective, I married for the first time by my own choosing and lived with it for 37 years. God intervened and I’m now married to the woman He chose. That’s the difference that counts. Call me whatever you like, but I made a mistake with my first marriage. I am now married to the right woman for me by God’s choosing. If we were all to seek God for our spouse I dare say there would be fewer divorces.