When God called me to be an envoy of His Word at thirteen, I had no idea of the ramifications of that calling. God told me I would be an evangelist. I remember lying in my bed at night and preaching to the ceiling. I did it with fervor. I did it with what I could only describe as parroting. I knew absolutely nothing else. I had not yet given my soul to Jesus in a confession of surrender. That didn’t happen until I was sixteen. I fought that. I only have to say the reason is my fear of people’s watching eyes. I finally succumbed to the Holy Ghost’s persistence.
This beginning went into invisible mode till I was twenty-seven. Eleven years had passed, and God started working on me again. It wasn’t till I was fifty-six that I realized that what I suffered on the cusp of my reawakening was depression. I had found myself floundering and not knowing what my life was all about. It wasn’t that I was failing in life. I was actually doing quite well. I had a job that carried clout with creditors. I could walk into any place and purchase whatever I wanted. But my heart could not buy what I needed.
I came to God once again with one request. I wanted to be among people who were hungry for Him. He did that. I had grown up as a good Baptist, so I thought. God placed me in an Assemblies of God church. Then, through a series of convincing events, I was baptised in the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking in tongues. It was safe to say I was no longer in Kansas. If you don’t understand that statement, it comes from The Wizard of Oz. Dorothy was taken up in a tornado to another place far from her mundane world, into an adventure of a lifetime. And that I was. My life was forever changed. I found myself not wanting to parrot Biblical teachings that I had known for a lifetime. This event happened in my life on March 13th 1977.
My whole world had changed. I found a verse that stuck with me.
II Tim 2:15 – Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
With this new world around me and in me, I had stepped into another realm of life. My pastor at the time became my good friend, along with one other ranking member of the church. I practised speaking in tongues and interpretation. God had shown me this was real. I’d heard a woman give a message in tongues in a service, and without hesitation I heard the interpretation, not knowing what I was hearing; the second that was what was happening. Then, I heard a man in the choir begin to interpret word for word what I was hearing. I found myself laying my hands on people and, without pushing or any other provocation, watched people faint just from that touch. I later learned the Pentecostal term for that was “being slain in the Spirit”.
Then one day my bubble burst. The old line members did not like what my pastor was doing. I could not understand why. He had taken a church of barely thirty-five people to over two hundred in about a year. We were even breaking the race barrier. We became involved with a “black” church that was setting up a church in the heart of a drug-infested area of the city. Then the church split over differences of opinion. The old-line members fought and won. My pastor left. However, all left except for the original thirty-five. All was lost.
During this time, God introduced me to a rising church about an hour away via an FM radio program called “The Word of the Lord In The Light of Present Truth”. Pastor Kelley H. Varner had not long been called to a little town just north of Wilmington. The Word he was teaching when I heard him addressed the reality of the baptism of the Holy Ghost. I was instantly drawn to knowing what had happened to my wife and me. At the time, my wife was raised in Pentecostalism. She thought she knew more than I did, but I didn’t stop at the open door; this event was there for me. This did not come without caveats. Pastor Varner began teaching about the false doctrine called the Rapture. Having been a follower of Hal Lindsey and John Wolvoord, I thought the any-minute event would initiate hell on earth for seven years after taking all Christians away from terra firma. This upset me to the point of anger. That anger made me dig in my heels. I vowed to prove Pastor Varner wrong. So I cut out his opinion, along with Lindsey and Wolvoord. I was going to find out for myself.
I had bought neutral study books. I didn’t want any of Schofield’s interpretation. I wanted the Bible’s words. I wanted the original language. Greek, Hebrew, and Aramaic became my sources as I searched. After five or six months, I walked away with a surrender flag flying. I could not prove Pastor Varner wrong. So I dug into his teaching on it, and it bore truth I could not deny. In time, God showed me to study the culture of the day. This step deepened my understanding.
My thrust here is to say one thing. I’ve learned over my lifetime that every word that comes from my mouth in conversation, counselling, and ministry should be weighed accurately and as correctly as possible. Never, ever lie about something to cover a lack of knowledge. If I don’t know or I am not sure, I dig for an answer as close to the truth as possible. I never want to lead someone astray. As a minister of the Gospel, I’m accountable to everyone I speak to, and that accountability will affect their lives.
On another note, I will never offer what I consider truth to someone I discern to not know or is not open to a difference in their thinking. I know it will happen in some instances because I feel it is necessary, and I feel the Spirit clears me to say so. Otherwise, I remain silent. What I used to consider the fear of man in saying something is no longer an issue. It’s more of a judgment call to not present a stumbling block.
To summarise, I recommend that you keep your fervour for God’s Word. But to balance that fervour, do your homework. Study to show yourself approved. Find your bottom line not only from your study, but also from the voices of seasoned ministers who carry the same knowledge and weight in the Word. Cover yourself with the reasoning of these men and women. Don’t go out on a limb without it.
When I realized the weight of the words coming out of my mouth would judge me, I began taking responsibility for my research and prayer time to deliver the Word to the best of my knowledge.
Do the same for yourself.
