Easter Weekend

Posted on 2022/04/16 by JimR, Chaplain

This Easter Weekend came suddenly upon me quite unexpectedly. It seems ministry is being offering me opportunities I have not ever had.

Since leaving the work-a-day world I’ve found God is increasingly given me people to minister to. One day it was a woman in a parking lot whose mother-in-law was found uncounsious on the kitchen floor and she was having a mental breakdown right in front of me. I spoke to her and prayed with her and I left her feeling strength to carry on the day.

A few days later I encountered a young man in church in the beginning of a panic attack. Having been in the same situation a dozen years ago, I took him to a quiet place and spoke softly to him to take deep breaths and slow his mind. In a few minutes he was able to tell me he felt better and he would go home and watch our live church service from there. You see, he was in our church service, but the attack came on him during the service. So I watched him as he walked home, which was close by, to see that he made it safely.

Another day recently I got a call that my CCW permit was ready and although I thought it was a bit early to get it, I went ahead and hopped on my bike and rode 20 miles to the Sheriff’s office to get it. As I was getting off my bike there was a friend of mine standing in the doorway. I asked why she was there she said she was bailing her husband out. He is also a friend of mine. While she was waiting for him to come out I inquired about my permit and was told it was not ready. I responded then that I was apparently not there for the permit, but that God got me into town to minister to my friends. The three of us ended up on the street corner outside the Sheriff’s office praying. I trust they will get their situation fixed.

Tuesday past I got a call from my neice that she wanted to talk. Seems after a long battle with severe allergic reactions to dialysis she’s found it necessary to stop. With less than 10% kidney function they put her into Hospice Care because if and when she goes downhill it will go quickly. I went to see her Friday and after some time listening to her I have to agree that she feels she’s doing what she only has on her mind to do. Transplantation of a donated kidney is out since all the meds she’s on her docs have told her it was unlikely her situation would improve. I left her with the thought that God is in control and this situation doesn’t have to go downhill, but by His hand can improve. I left her smiling and feeling able to face whichever direction she goes.

But to add to all these things, while I was talking to her I got a call from the daughter of a friend of mine telling me my friend, her mom had passed away Wednesday. I had heard about it through a mutual friend Thursday evening, but the daughter’s question was what gave me a start. She wanted me to perform the memorial service for her mom today. Of course I agreed. So I met with the family this morning and we talked out what we all wanted to do. Now, this evening the service is over and I sit her contemplating what God has for me next. Oh, I know He’ll give me something else to do and I will readily make myself available to do it whether I feel like it or not.

I’m finding my availablitity is being taken seriously by God. It is true that all you have to do is leave God an open door into your life through which He can flow through you to another to make someone else’s life better.

Your gift will make room for you.

Posted in Ponderings | Leave a comment

Depression

Posted on 2022/04/04 by JimR, Chaplain

Some of you may have never dealt with depression. If you have you will know what the symptoms are

and when they are coming.

Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and sometimes you may feel as if life isn’t worth living. – Mayo Clinic

I experienced depression in my mid to late 20’s. I didn’t know what it was. I just knew God delivered me from it by proding me to recommit my life to Him. Once that battle was won, I felt as though I had entered a new world.

However, by the time I reach fifty-six years old I found myself suffering from anxiety so badly I was having panic (anxiety) attacks. They were so bad my cardiologist concluded that I’d had a heart attack. After a cardiac cath at Wake Med, the doctor came to give me the results by telling me I had not had a heart attack, but that I needed to learn to relax and lower my anxiety levels. That worked for a while.

Then at the age of fifty-eight, I had a major meltdown. I’d grown to find myself losing my sense of direction in life and was making very bad decisions that cost me my marriage, church life and so much of my sanity. I ended up being diagnosed with severe depression with anxiety attacks. I was seeing a psychiatrist and a psychologist and was on meds. Then came along the woman who is now my wife. She was the gift God gave me for my recovery.

The strange thing is that working out of my depression found me realizing that the woman that was my first wife was a mistake on my part. I should never have married her. To be brief, way back when I was going with a girl that I loved, but I found to be insatiable and when I was drafted during Vietnam, I was taken away from that bad relationship. Then my first wife was introduced to me as a blind date. I found her to be a haven since her sisters ran wild and lose and she had vowed not to be like them. I concluded that her vow was good for me so I proposed and we married after I got out of service. I never really got to know her well though. I worked jobs that kept us apart most of the time and it wasn’t until my fifties that I began to doubt my young decision. When we separated and I started talking with my psychologist I came to understand my hasty decision as a young man was not good. I know my sons probably don’t like this if they read it, but I can say both of them are upstanding citizens that contribute to society. I can appreciate them far above most of their generation. But that marriage should not have been.

During that depression in my fifties my psychologist called my new woman that became my wife was more like a “shiny new toy” and I would lose interest. I’m not sad to say that she has been with me for going on thirteen years now and I could not do without her. She was not the shiny new toy my psychologist indicated by his opinion. We have a solid relationship. It’s not perfect, but we talk to each other about everything and resolve it one way or the other.

So. When I started writing this post a few days ago, I was feeling depression creeping up on me. Do you know what I did? I got my wife and myself into the car and went to town and did some shopping and did stuff together. Oh. And we talked. It got me out and away from the creeping little foxes that came to steal my joy that morning. The rest of my day was wonderful and I got some things done I had been laying aside for weeks or more.

Never let yourself sit and stew in that pot of depression. Get up and get out there. Do something. Keep yourself busy. You cannot afford to allow your mental state to be eaten alive by evil, negative thoughts. Fight for your life. You can control it. It’s up to you. You create your own destiny and it starts by telling the creepy things to step aside. Talk to God. He’ll tell you the same thing I just told you. Do you know why? Because that’s what He told me.

Posted in Ponderings | Leave a comment

Simply Salvation

Posted on 2022/03/29 by JimR, Chaplain

I’ve started writing another book. It’s titled the same as this post. What I’m feeling in this writing is to explain the simplicity of salvation.

As I started the book I found myself wanting to focus on the Good Shepherd by introducing Him to the reader from the 23rd Psalm. I opened up with the nature of the shepherd by explaining it to people with an inviting picture of the Savior. We tend to throw around a lot of Christian terms. I find them already passe’, if not outmoded. I consider them thrown around so often without explanation that we just let the terms “salvation”, “savior” “baptism” and such flow right past our thinking without stopping to seriously consider the import of these very important life-giving terms.

I cite a concern of mine in the term baptism. It seems in my circle of church folk that several people seem to think being baptized several times to be okay. I guess that would be okay if it were truly meaningful, but I think it’s becoming a bit abused. There is this thing Baptists quip about in there churches that so and so got saved “again” this past Sunday. How does one get saved every other Sunday? The idea of being born again is a once in a lifetime event. Rededication would be a better term I suppose if it is truly expressed, but it has become something of an inside joke with Baptist to be saved in every service practically.

I was baptized three times, yet each time I felt a sincere need, not so much for myself as it was that my wife and I be baptized together into one flesh. My dad questioned me when I was baptized the second time as to the first baptism’s effectiveness. It was a cutting remark I’d say as he thought the need for only being baptized once was only right. I tended to agree with his assumption, yet for some reason felt the need at that time. Since that second time I met with divorce and found my life in shambles. I won’t detail that out except to say I fell into darkness and walked away from my Christian values.

With the help of God’s unrelenting love for me and His gift of a woman that became my second wife, I have recovered. Our walk (and I say all three of us, God, my wife, and me) has become a solid foundation. Upon that foundation was a pressing need for a new commitment, so my wife and I were baptized together. I have no doubt there will never be a need to do this again.

The first baptism was entirely for me. My soul needed to show that outward evidence of the inward work of God in my life through Jesus Christ. This last one was intended for joining into a covenant with God with my wife and me as one. It didn’t seem so much as the original reason as it was for a display of covenant with God.

This book will likely be a good bit bigger since I am feeling there’s a lot to explain to get the simplicity across. This sounds kind of complicated, but it’s not. I hope to show people that don’t think they have a need to be saved just what the need is. Man has a hollow spot in their being from the first Adam that only the second Adam can fill. This will be explained in the book.

I’ll stop here, but I must tell you one thing. If you are a Christian, God wants you. You are valuable enough to send His Son to die for you that you may be saved. The value you hold is found in the sacrifice God gave for us to regain fellowship with Him. Don’t ever think you are worthless. Never.

Posted in Ponderings | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Stats

Posted on 2022/03/25 by JimR, Chaplain

I don’t normally look at my stats, but lately I’ve become more curious as to where people that do visit

this page live. Granted I have only a few followers, but I am amazed at the power of the internet. There are those that come from just about every major country in the world that view what I write.

I don’t take anyone that does look at this old man’s writings for granted. I only write by inspiration most of the time and when I don’t write it’s because I don’t hear anything of value to write. I will say sometimes my writings are a shade cloudy from the attitude that I have at the moment so the thoughts may come out a bit off, but there is a hidden meaning in there somewhere.

My previous post about being ready to minister the Word when we are out and about should be of value and I didn’t want to “expound” on it. All I did was say it and leave it there. Be there and be ready when the moment comes is a precise thing for God.

The woman I ministered to in the parking lot at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store was having a really bad day. She had left her home for work. She teaches in a setting with children ages 3-6 years old. She could not do that with the frame of mind she was in at that moment. So God in His infinite wisdom had me to go get breakfast for my wife and sister-in-law. I learned from the meeting as well as the woman was ministered to.

My learning is that I am now much more in tune with God that at any other time in my life. It’s my realization of that that gives me a gained confidence that I am able. I became the vessel through which God poured His favor upon this woman. I wasn’t the answer. I was the conduit. God was the answer.

This woman received what she needed for the moment. She commented she thought I was her dad and was avoiding her. She stated he was in fact avoiding her lately and that in itself is hurtful. To add to that her mother-in-law was found unresponsive in her home the prior day and was in the ICU at the hospital expecting her to not regain conscousness. She is not expected to live. I have not idea of what else she might be experiencing, but to see the turmoil her mind was in tells me she is dealing with more that just those two things.

God doesn’t have to tell me the details. I don’t have an itch to know. All I need to know is that I delivered the Word to her this morning and that He activated those Words in her spirit. All I told her was that peace and comfort are her portion. All she has to do is receive it. I believe she did.

When you are out each day all you have to do is be aware of those that are placed before you. Be ready or to paraphrase it “instant in season and out of season”. You may feel nothing directly, but you will as soon as the moment arrives. Do you tune your spirit to activate or be sensitive to what God is doing? Do you surrender yourself to be and do as God leads?

You are a statistic by WordPress’s viewing my page, but the most valuable statistic is do you respond to those in need? If one of you practices this valuable ministry, your reward in heaven grows.

Posted in Abundant life, Christian, Christian Mission, Follow God, God's Calling, God's direction, God's Guidance, Maturity, Statistic | Leave a comment

Just Be There & Be Ready

Posted on 2022/03/25 by JimR, Chaplain

My wife’s sister and I rode out to the Pig to get breakfast for for the three of us. As I pulled into the parking lot we heard a horn blow, but I knew it wasn’t for me. As we parked a young lady pulled up behind us, got out and came to my window. I got out and she started apologizing for blowing the horn because she had thought I was her dad. I told her no need to apologize.

Then she started crying and told me her mother in law was in the ICU unresponsive and not expected to live. She thought I was her dad and was ignoring her. She was a basket case. I put my hands on her shoulders and told her to look at me. I said it’s okay. I began to pray for her in the parking lot while she sobbed. When I finished praying I talked to her that God is in control and peace and comfort was hers. More was said but we left her as she went off to work. God puts you where you need to be for someone today. You don’t have to look. Just be there and be ready.

Posted in Christian, Christian Mission | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Believe in Tomorrow

Posted on 2022/03/17 by JimR, Chaplain

I started out today doing taxes. I realized when I saw how much I owe I thought about how far God has brought me in life. It’s a non-issue anymore. I would have cried, struggled, and fought with the number I saw. God has built into me the faith, patience, and general maturity to deal with it.

But how did I get to this point? By seeds planted into my soul over time. I believe those seeds of yesterday were the seeds of “tomorrow” back then.

To go to what I really need to say is this. Many people today fear there is no answer to their problems. They have reached an end with no answer in sight.

When the end seems the only solution, such as I deal with in those considering suicide, all we need to know is tomorrow will be a better day. Simply plant a seed today for that better tomorrow.

From a counseling standpoint, if we are encountering individuals standing at the brink of considering an end to their madness it would be wise to know we cannot change the made-up mind of some, but we must plant seeds in whatever way we can to counter their intentions. If we talk someone back from the edge we did it by planting seeds of thought that instantly spring up. That seems a tall order on our part, but we have to be their answer in God’s stead. We are given authority to speak into lives and we must realize our words are the fertile ingredient to cause the spawning of life in those we speak to.

We cannot just throw seeds of thoughts at someone hoping for growth. The seeds we use should be well-chosen hybrids for that particular situation. That’s where we should be the conveyance by which our yielded spirit hears God. We should be picking the right words to sow as we hear God speak to us. God’s power in the seeds we convey has the work of miracles in them to change hearts and minds. That is why we need to be “prayed up” as is said by the old-timers of the faith. We must also remember we don’t do anything. It’s our yielded heart that conveys the living Words of God that causes the seed to work. It’s not our glory, but only His.

Lives are in the balance. There is a hurting world out there and we need to pray to the end that we are able to hear and speak (plant) those Words God speaks to us to each particular situation without any fetters to hold them back. They must be as I said “hybrids” to each person’s situation.

How many of you have already picked up on this as prophesy. Yes. It is exactly that. But there need not be “Thus saith the Lord” hung on the front of the Words we speak. I’ve spoken to many people as if it were just a part of the conversation. If I felt to do so I would more pointedly look them square in the eyes and gently force them to connect with me. Most times they will and they will know that I mean what I’m about to say. I simply want to know the seed got into their soil. Oh, this conversation could go on and on, but I believe I have got the point across for today.

Be constant in looking for those in need daily. Start that day with prayer in as much as is necessary for you to see them and read them in however God shows you. If you plant a seed today it gives the individual a “tomorrow” to look forward to. If you can hear it, it gives you a tomorrow to look forward to as well as you have found purpose by giving someone else purpose.

Posted in Abundant life, Biblical teaching, Christian, Christian Mission, Common Sense, Follow God, God's Calling, God's direction, God's Guidance, Hope, Love, Maturity, Mental Health, Mission Work, More of God, Patience | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Book Deal

Posted on 2022/03/15 by JimR, Chaplain

I am between jobs for a bit and I’ve had time to polish up my manuscript for my book. Oh? You didn’t

know? I signed a book deal with a major publisher to publish my book. It’s not a big book. But my publisher told me for the subject I’m dealing with it didn’t need to be big since some of my audience will likely not want to read a thick book.

The title is “Suicide – Satan’s Killing Field”. It deals with suicide from the aspect of going to those in need of help whether it be a distant thought to their immediate crisis. I’m a Christian and a Chaplain so my approach is from a Christian viewpoint. However, there is a difference in how I approach it than most may think.

In my training as a Chaplain, I found it described as the “Ministry of Presence”. My approach is to introduce myself and then listen. To best describe it I will illustrate by the first time I encountered someone. It wasn’t a suicide thing, but it was an elderly lady that was attempting to salvage the remains of her home from a tornado. The day I stepped into her home she had lost her husband the year before which was exactly one year earlier. She had a daughter with her helping pick up what belongings she could muster. Now she had no husband or home. I sat down with her and listened while she poured out her heart.

So, to listen to anyone in crisis or otherwise is the best ministry a Chaplain can do upfront in a conversation. People in situations like I encounter come to me like a pressure cooker. When a Chaplain presents themselves it tends to cause people to release that pressure and it will come out all at once and we are prepared to listen and take it in without preconceived notions.

My book lays heavily on the side of presenting Christ to all. It is to seek and save the lost. Suicidal people are so close to ending their lives when at the point of crisis and I speak on how to start with someone in a conversation by listening. From that assessments can be made on how to approach them in conversation to talk them back from the edge.

The field I speak of is two-fold. One side shows the negative aspect, and the other shows the positive aspect. The book will be out more likely in about five months. It will be on Amazon, Kindle, Barnes and Noble and other such outlets. If you are interested in a copy I can take requests now. Just not orders. The cost will be determined at a later date, but I can say it will be worth the read.

Posted in Ponderings | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Two Trees

Posted on 2022/03/06 by JimR, Chaplain

I was awakened this morning as usual by my two dogs wanting egress to their natural need to nature, so I took them out, but when trying to return myself to sleep a proding by God to get up was upon me.

So. When that proding comes it is best to rise and go to the couch and get my laptop in of all places my lap of course. Upon opening it I question God as to where I should start. I mentally fumble through one of my online Bible reference sites after another, yet nothing jumps out at me till a question come to mind. I felt it to be one of my “God questions”.

Just what is the difference between the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge? The Tree of Life is simply Tree of Life, but the Tree of Knowledge has a tag on it to include “of Good and Evil”.

“And out of the ground the LORD God made to spring up every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.” – Genesis 2:9

So God says every tree is pleasant to the sight and good for food, but then God specifies two trees distinctly by nature. Trees seem to play an important role in God’s way of describing how man should approach life.

He told Adam and Eve that they could eat of all the trees including the Tree of Life. But why not the Tree of Knowledge?

This tree contained an asset that man need not know of. That was the ability to know the difference between good and evil. Why did God not want man to know of this asset?

That is a question I will likely be dwelling in for a bit. Come with me as we search this vital area which God had warned Adam and Eve about. I feel this second tree was detrimental and has led us to the state of man such as it is. It led to our separation from our rightful relationship with God.

If you will, what might your view of this be?

Posted in Ponderings | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

I’m Excited!

Posted on 2022/02/26 by JimR, Chaplain

I’ve been writing blog posts for close to fifteen years. I’ve had a handful of blogs. One was “Musings of an Old Man”. It contained mostly my autobiography which was about 125 pages when I stopped and I was only to my late 20’s. It was mostly about being a young man growing up from my first memories till I got totally solid in my walk with God and I stopped. The reason was my first marriage fell apart about then and I totally lost interest. It was a dark time when I was diagnosed with severe depression and I was having panic attacks.

Then came my recovery. The name of the next blog was “The Recovery Room”. It was poems and writings of my dismay over my situation and how I evolved out of it. This was about the same time I met Libby. She was that puzzle piece in my life that I’d been missing. With her by my side, she became my rock. She picked me up when I was down. She gave me strength when I had none. I love her with a love like no other second only to that of my Lord. I treasure her in my recovery and we are mates for life.

Then came this blog. I haven’t been back to my first days on this one. The title of the blog comes from where I grew up. It was a community named Small. For years I thought the name came from the lack of a better idea until one day I learned it was named after a man, whose last name was Small. Anyway I’d alway heard of the phrase “Living large”, so I use a play on words and came up with “Living Small”. Now you know the rest of the story.

I treasure the times I’ve felt to write. It’s history of my progression in writing. Oh, I know I still have grammatical and spelling issues, but in all I’m sure you, the reader, gets my gist.

So here I sit tonight to share with you why I’m excited. The first of this week I was contacted by a publisher that wanted to talk to me. I’ve had several want my attention, but I felt something about this particular man. So I set up an appointment to talk to him. About Tuesday I found time to converse with him about my manuscript for a book I’ve written called “Suicide – Satan’s Killing Field”. It’s not a big book. It’s perhaps fifty pages at best, but I had to think back about my mentor’s book writings. His first books were in this page range and they changed my life. Then he went on to a major Christian publisher that published something like eighteen of his writings that were full sized writings in paperback and hardback. By the time he died he had written some sixty five to seventy books from the size I stated to around 120 pages.

Well to say the least this man requested my manuscript for review to see if it fit their Christian publishing company. Then came yesterday. I got an email with a letter of acceptance with comments about my manuscript with a proposed contract to publish it. I am stoked. I’ve read the contract and it appears legitimate. The terms are realistic and doable. I emailed the man back and we are to set up another conversation to customize the contract to my liking and once I put my investment into it we will be off and running.

I’m going to have my book published by Trinity Broadcasting Network’s subsidary, Trinity Publishing. They

will do everything for me for what I consider a very nominal cost and my royalities will be 100% till my investment is recouped and then a 70/30 split for us. They have over 20 million viewers on their network and if I get just 10% of the viewers involved, the words God gave me to tell people about suicide and it’s ugly head will be spread and perhaps save some lives from this needless act.

Yes, there is money, but God spoke to Libby and me about 7-10 months ago that we would be taken care with blessing of finance in our old age. Like, I’m 71 now, so I’m listening, okay? Besides my intent is to be well off enough financially to further involve myself in the active Chaplaincy ministry I recently became director over as a volunteer. I was not guaranteed any salary, but in this I felt a salary isn’t necessary and I should do it as an act of faith fulfilled for God.

So there it is. In due diligence, I’m doing a background check on the man I’m talking to so that I can say my investment with TBN’s publishing arm is truly going to serve what God has for me well enough to take care of my need to pursue my function as the Director for Emerge Chaplains Response Team under Emerge Ministries.

I’m not concerned about fame of selling books or making money. All I want is to pursue the calling of God on my life and if this is the path, so shall it be. My book will be published if not with TBN, it will be somewhere. For now I’ve asked God for His direction and the door is still open. So the principle I learned as a young Christian still applies. As long as the door is open, walk through it. If it closes another will open. God’s will be done. I’m on my way.

Posted in Ponderings | Tagged | Leave a comment

Dark Days Ahead

Posted on 2022/02/22 by JimR, Chaplain

I hardly like to write about what I see, because I don’t consider myself a prophet. However, I do consider myself a student of history and the nature of man.

What is going on in the world presently has nothing to do with being a Democrat or Republican. It has nothing to do with being American, Chinese, Russian or any other race of people. It has to do with right standing or not with God.

Those of you that read my writings know either a little or some degree about me, but I would figure very few know me personally.

Since I was a child I had a keen awareness of God. At the age of thirteen God spoke to me that He wanted me in the ministry as an Evangelist. It took me years, even decades, to fully understand what that meant. Now as a Chaplain I came to the full realization of that calling. A Chaplain in simple terms is an Evangelist. I’d dare say an Evangelist is not even called to preach as is traditionally known by most. The one thing I learned in my classes for Chaplaincy is that it is considered the “ministry of presence”. Just being there when needed is sometimes all that is required. Then when necessary to speak a Word or preach. I’m good with that.

But then comes my knowledge of studying the Bible and history. I find that there is, as the Bible says, nothing new under the sun.

The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun. – Ecc 1:9

There are no new sins to be committed. Only the same human misgivings and shortcomings that create futility. I have come to realize that no matter how much evil man can contrive it all comes to naught. So what good does it do when at the end of life the evil men die and then comes their judgment. How empty their souls will be.

Right now today as China, Russia and North Korea and any other despicable government commits to do evil they will all reach a day when all that they have done is of so little value that the absence of purpose will have evaded the souls of those that seek to commit such greedy, power hungry deeds.

My only true hope is in God. God ordained all things to happen in order that He may have a people of His own. The refinement of His people is by fire. Such as it is with the world, I find it with the fire in which God’s people will be refined are those very people that commit evil that affects us and grieves our souls.

Jesus hung upon a cross for all of us. Even those of the lowest form of human nature. My cry tonight is to hope for redemption of all mankind. It is written that at some point in time all will bow the knee to God.

For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God. – Romans 14:11

Even in Jesus’ day we see that even the demons of hell recognized Him as Lord.

What do you want with us, Son of God?” they shouted. “Have you come here to torture us before the appointed time? – Matthew 8:29

So I say as I call an end to this day, we must keep our faith intact, our conversation with God constant and our relationship with our Father solid. There are dark days ahead as the smoke from the fire of God covers the sk during the purging of the earth of evil.

Posted in Biblical teaching, Christian, Ponderings, Sadness, Sobering Thoughts, Spiritual | Leave a comment