What a Weekend

Posted on 2022/09/15 by JimR, Chaplain

This past weekend was a really trying weekend. It started out okay. I trimmed and mowed our lawn and got a shower and napped. We were on for a gala, as our church puts it, that evening in a ballroom to celebrate our 4th anniversary as a church.

My wife and I arrived along with her sister. There were over two hundred people in attendance. We had dinner, dancing, and speeches. My wife is a very lively sort. She was on the dance floor, although I’m not a dancer. I took up playing drums so I could be a part of the entertainment in my past days.

Well the evening was going well until my wife came back to the table and sat down for a few minutes. I noticed she was acting like she didn’t feel well. In a few minutes she told me she did not feel good and she asked me to help her to the restroom. Her sister accompanied us to help her once she was in the restroom. After several minutes she came out complaining that she hurt across her stomach and wanted to go home, so I went out and got the SUV pulled up. She and her sister got in and we started home. I noticed her breathing was labored and quick, so I told her we were going to the ER. She got angry saying she wanted to go home. This went on for a few blocks.

Then it all broke loose. As I was driving I heard her begin to vomit I looked over at her and she was unconscious. She then slumped over on my shoulder while still vomiting. I then redirected our travel towards the Emergency Room while her sister held her upright.

We arrived at the ER and while her sister watched her I went in and got a wheelchair. We took her in where she was checked in and they took her in, ran her vitals, and allowed her to change out of her dress into a hospital gown. In the meantime I called my pastor and he said he was coming over since the party had ended. He showed up with four deacons and they all sat with me until we were called to a room in the back.

After labs, an MRI, and more labs it was determined she was in acute renal failure. Prayer had already started online, back at church, and with our friends. I spoke healing to her immediately. It was determined that it came from a drug interaction and dehydration. The x-rays that were done determined later on that there was no damage to her kidneys. After several hours we were told she was being admitted for observation and hydration via IV. We were told she would likely be in the hospital two days.

When a room became open upstairs we were told she was being taken up and we should go home and rest. She would be in good hands, so we left around four in the morning. I had vomit all over the console in the car, on me, and her clothes. I took them home with me to wash.

I got little sleep, but when I got up I washed our clothes because mine were also covered in vomit. I feed our dogs and got something to eat for myself. I also cleaned out the car, too. Once that was done I took off for the hospital. She was looking better when I got there and she was not happy with the noise of things that normally occur in a hospital. I sat with her all day and figured I would have another night at home alone.

However, our prayers were heard. Around five that afternoon, the nurse came in and announced that her last labs came back normal and the doctor ordered her to be release with a follow-up with her doctor the following day.

I have so much to say about God’s provisions. I have to say I suspect several things, but this I do know. She was touched by God and completely healed. She was back to normal and went back to work on Tuesday. I’ve seen God do this many times and I thank God she is normal again.

Don’t ever think God cannot make the body line up with His touch. Walk in faith and believe and He will take care of you. No matter which way your circumstances go, believe that God has your best for you.

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Schizophrenia

Posted on 2022/09/08 by JimR, Chaplain

I noted recently a post from my publisher on FB. They are looking for people with manuscripts for possible publication. There were quite a few inquiries of a variety that showed the desires of people wanting to know how to publish or what could be published.

I know from experience now that when I inquired to a few publishers that I wanted to publish my book I was a bit apprehensive as things narrowed down. Trilogy Publishing requested my manuscript. After a bit they contacted me and said they wanted to publish my book and the ball started rolling.

Each step was leaving me with questions since I’d never done this before. However, I had been a printing plant pressman and did book layout and design. I kept a print shop of my mentor in motion for over sixteen years. He had something close to fifty books I kept in print for studies by groups and general purchase by individuals. I proofed some of them as well. He also had something close to eighteen books published by a commercial publisher called Destiny Image. I knew his first publication cost him around twelve thousand dollars. I did know something of what the cost could possibly be.

The cost of publishing my book at bare minimum was five thousand dollars with all royalties coming back to me till that investment was paid off and then we’d do a split. I’ve never considered spending this kind of money without personally meeting the persons involved, but this was done all by phone and email. This kept me wondering was I doing something with a legitimate publisher.

With all this I prayed and asked God to help me and He told me He had this and I was to proceed. I have trusted that voice for decades so it was a no-brainer. I paid the money and today I have a book in hand and it’s in major outlets.

So. What about schizophrenia? Back to the post I mentioned in the beginning. I saw there were questions, so I made a comment that they are legitimate and that I had prayed and God told me to proceed. There were two comments that I must be schizophrenic, because I said I hear God speak. I had to laugh. They know not what they say. I depend on God to speak to me. I can relate life-changing decisions I’ve made on hearing from God. One in particular, He answered to the week and day in time He said he would act on what He was telling me.

Do you hear God speak? Do people chastise you if you tell them you hear? I’ve never had this happen, but I am so grounded on hearing God speak, I just had to laugh at their ignorance. Yes people hear voices and I do too, but I’m honed on the one and only God that is my Father.

Schizophrenic? Not hardly.

Posted in Biblical teaching, Christian, Christian Mission, Common Sense, Follow God, God's direction, God's Guidance, Hope, Mental Health, Mission Work, More of God, Ponderings, Possibilities, Spiritual, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Investment | Leave a comment

Stepping Back a Bit

Posted on 2022/08/30 by JimR, Chaplain

Sometimes it pays to step back from the rush that can happen when we get busy. Several years ago I crashed from “doing” instead of “being”. I’ve found myself approaching that edge over the last few

weeks and it begs to question why am I here?

I’ve been the Director of Emerge Chaplains Response Team for a year in its formative beginning. I have also wrote and found a publisher for my book, which is now on the market. I left one job that was demanding and went to another that is less hours, yet still demanding. The latter job will settle a few weeks in, but still. . . All this has occurred since I retired as a Personnel Security Manager for the US Navy.

Projects my wife wants to do are also things I like and would really like to see to fruitition. She wants a sunroom and I feel God has given us enough windows to do it and I have a contractor, so it is coming together. How to obtain money to do the job is the challenge.

I lost my niece a little over a week ago. That has affected me. I have only two offspring (an niece and a nephew) of my four brothers. The other just celebrated six years of marriage and have a young son of their own, so that is a bright side.

Also, about six weeks ago I had an accident in my wife’s SUV. She and her sister were with me. The SUV was totaled. I still have to deal with the citation, which will go away, I’m told when the insurance company settles. They have so I will need to get an attorney to run it through the court. I’ve been driving something since I was seven years old. With all this time behind me I’ve never had an accident and that bothers me, too. The accident still has me off center mentally.

Still, with all that’s going on and fighting a bout of depression, I have found I’m better equipped to recognize what is happening and I have to put a halt to it. It is now time to step back and find my center in “being”. It is okay to do things, but when it becomes the focal point of all things it is wrong. I’m going to have to cut back and do one thing I know I have to do.

I have been given the title to a new book “May I Introduce You?” It has begun. Yet all the doing has gotten in the way of being. Being is what will produce the book.

So it is time to refocus on my relationship with God. Don’t let yourself get off the road to maturing yourself in getting to know God. Let go of your little projects and take a look at where you are. God has bigger plans.

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She Went on a New Journey

Posted on 2022/08/16 by JimR, Chaplain

Some days I write from my head. Some days I write from my heart. Today, I write from my heart. I am sad today. Not for myself, but from a loss.

I reconnected with many of my friends and family after my divorce. One, in particular, was more in passing since she was the daughter of my next brother down in line from me. He had divorced her mom and she was living with her. I tried to connect with her as she allowed. Her name was Patty. She had her issues that affected her both physically and mentally. That was not an issue with me. I don’t shy away from those kinds of issues.

The last time I’d seen her was when my brother, her dad, passed away around 2006. She was at the funeral. From then till about a year ago I had lost track of her. The only thing I knew that was going on with her was that her mother had died from cancer. I found out her grandmother, her mom’s mother, had passed on as well. She was living in a double-wide and had a roommate that was a friend of the family and he works at a home for disadvantaged people.

About a year ago she and I reconnected and all seemed well for the moment except she was on dialysis. By November of last year, she messaged me to talk. She expressed to me her problem with dialysis. It seems there was a severe side-effect that left her with terrible bouts of itching after the treatments that sometimes left her scratching till her skin was raw. This might not seem like something, but I’ve had reactions like this, and one time it almost got bad enough I thought I was going into anaphylactic shock. What makes it worse is that the treatment was performed three times a week. That meant for three days out of the week she was in a frenzy with the itching.

She had messaged me to talk about what she was considering. After the doctors had tried other methods of the treatment to no avail she had decided to stop dialysis. I asked her was she able to get on the kidney transplant list. She told me the doctors had told her she was not a viable candidate for a transplant because of other health issues that would put her into kidney failure at a future date. So with that news, they said the only thing she had to look forward to was her demise in about six to eight weeks from the time she stopped treatment.

Armed with this medical information she wanted to ask me what I thought. She’d already asked some friends and they adamantly expressed to her that what she was doing was tantamount to suicide. She was feeling very depressed over this. You see, she had mental issues with depression and other mental disorders, and such nonsense as she was being told only threw her into despair.

I had just written my book on suicide and I knew it was God that armed me to handle this. I explained to her that with all she had been through she had made a medically informed decision no different than someone that decided they didn’t want chemo because of its effects on the body. Being in her right mind she had decided to stop treatment for the same reasons. Her body had backed her into a corner with no way out. So the friends and family should simply take her decision in this light and comfort her during her last days.

But the time kept on going past the six to eight weeks and it went into months with no ill effects. We would talk about it. She said the doctors told her when she started going downhill it would be quick. I went to see her when she was still in fair health and we talked in person. I felt our talks were good and I felt satisfied she was convinced she made the right decision. As a Chaplain, I am obligated to let her make her own decisions and support her. I did tell her I knew where she stood and we agreed she was right with our God.

About the end of June this year she had stopped eating. I went to see her and she had lost almost 75 pounds. She was well over 200 at one time. She never ate again. About two weeks ago she messaged me to call her. I did. She was beginning to not be able to form thoughts. She was able to tell me that she had been talking to her mom who had passed. She told me it was not something she heard in her head. She actually was hearing her mom talk to her. I’ve studied people at the end of life and find this to be common. I then knew she was near the end.

I called yesterday morning and she didn’t answer, but her roommate answered. He had become her caregiver although she had hospice coming in and a local Chaplain as well. He said she was totally incoherent and was doing things as though she was okay. She had tried to get up to go to the bathroom and fell. He had put her back to bed. He also related to me that he could hear her talking to someone, yet no one was there. It was a one-sided conversation to him, but he gathered it was her mom she was talking to. I thanked him for being there for her. He expressed that it was no problem because she and her family had been very good to him when he was in need. At the end of our conversation, I asked him to call me when necessary and it made no difference about the time of day. He agreed.

Then last night at 12:35 my phone rang. I looked at my phone and it said “Patty” was calling. I knew it was him. I hesitated to answer because I knew what was coming. Then I hit the answer button and said hello. Then his voice came on and he said: “she is gone”. My heart sank. He said she had passed away about thirty minutes before. She died peacefully. She knew God. She told me that. I know that she spoke in truth in our conversations.

Please don’t take a single day for granted. We are not guaranteed another one, yet we should look to that end. God has appointed unto all a time to die. After that if we have a right relationship with Him we go to be present before Him. We have already been judged and found innocent through the blood of our Savior Jesus Christ. We have that assurance.

Following are the lyrics of a song my mom would sing in church on certain occasions. Blessed Assurance. This song contains solice I need today.

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
O what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood


This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long
This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long

Perfect submission, perfect delight
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight
Angels descending bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love


This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long
This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long


Perfect submission, all is at rest
I in my Savior am happy and blest
Watching and waiting, looking above
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love


This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long
This is my story, this is my song
Praising my Savior all the day long

Posted in Christian, Death, Family, Follow God, God's Calling, Health, Hope, Human Touch, Love, Memories, Mental Health, Ponderings, Respect for Life, Sadness, Salvation | Leave a comment

Suicide – Satan’s Killing Field

Posted on 2022/08/08 by JimR, Chaplain

The book I wrote is now available on Barnes and Noble, Amazon and Walmart Books Online. If you would like a copy just type in the book title or James L Rowe.

If you have dealt with suicidal thoughts or attempted it, you need to read this book. If you have had family or friends that you feel need this book get them one.

I didn’t write it for anything other than I know it will help someone. I have seen what suicide does. For the person that commits this insidious act upon themselves is permanent. Never forget there is another day. It is a shame to the family in most cases and leaves more questions and puts guilt on them as they wonder why. This book may have the answer you or they need.

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Family

Posted on 2022/08/06 by JimR, Chaplain

I’m in a unique situation where I have family, but they are all cousins in the majority. I have only one brother left of four. My parents and all my aunts and uncles are gone. Being almost 72 years old puts me out there in the old age category.

My mom was only 16 when she had me. My dad was 20, yet both have been gone for over 20 years. I still have friends my age that have their mom still around. It amazes me the longevity of some people.

I have only one nephew and one neice. My nephew is married and he and his wife recently added a son to their family. But the neice is another story.

She has been sickly most of her life and is only 42 years old. Her condition led her to dialysis. She can not have a kidney transplant due to other health issues. As of last November she decided to discontinue her dialysis because of a severe allergic reaction to the procedure. She had to go have this done three times a week and it left her in agony with itching. They tried other approaches to the procedure, but nothing changed.

Upon deciding to discontinue the treatment she was told she would have about six weeks to live. Some of her friends said she was committing suicide. She called me. As a Chaplain I have to look at the situation from the prospective of perhaps someone that discontinues treatment for something other than this, like cancer. The effects of treatment can be very disconcerting. In the medical field discontinuing treatment is considered an “informed decision”. They know the end result will still be to die. In most cases treatment only prolongs, but does not cure.

In her case dialysis is not a favorable way to live with the side effects she was having knowing the only possible way of correcting her issue was via a transplant, which was not viable. After talking with her I am convinced that she has made her decision as wisely as she feels possible. I cannot fix it or advise her otherwise except to be assured she is right with God. That she feels is okay.

We all face death. Her position is that she is to be there soon. She has made peace with it. Have you even though you have no issues? Or maybe you do.

Posted in Absolute(s), Common Sense, Death, Family, Human Touch | Leave a comment

Not Just Another Day

Posted on 2022/08/01 by JimR, Chaplain

How many times have you heard the phrase “Just another day”? The connotation of that is to say all the days leading up to this day are all the same and it’s just another one of those days like any other.

Upon waking every day we should thank God that we woke up in our right mind and can put our feet on the floor and walk out the new day in front of us.

A new day is like a blank canvas. We get to choose the colors for this day. Are your colors somber, dull, and dark or are they bright and sharp to the eye? You get to choose! I know someone reading this asks how do I get to choose when it’s a dreary day? What do I get out of the clouds and rain? Why here is something to think about. Without rain, crops do not grow! Washing away the grime and dust on the leaves and ground around us. It’s a shower that cleanses the earth were it falls.

I live in an area of the world where during the summer it gets oppressively hot. Living near the Atlantic ocean makes for high humidity. Combine those to weather events together and you get a nasty, sticky feeling when you go outside. Growing up on rural America on a tobacco farm I had to go to the fields in this environment. People talk about the earth getting hotter. I have to beg to differ. In the 1960’s when I was a teen working those fields it got to an air temp of 105 degrees many times. We had no A/C to cool off at the end of the day. Yet with this kind of weather we still have times of laughter. We still could go into the water and cool down. We could still rest at night and get out and do the work we had to do yet another day. Why? Because it was a sign we were alive and well.

I know sometimes I get a reader from China or Australia, the UK or even Brazil. The world contains a wide variety of climates. I’m sure all of you can get up in the morning and find the new day that is absent of mistakes and issues. Those things are yesterdays happenings, good or bad.

Make today a new day. Not just another day. Make it a day where you proclaim victory over yesterday’s mistakes or to amplify yesterdays growth towards a higher level of understanding. God is always giving us something to build upon. What we build depends on attitude.

So put away the negative and put on the positive and overcome the things that could bother you for victory in life as you confront your challenges by submitting yourself to a Holy God. He has the answers to your problems. He has the all-powerful ability to lift you higher than you ever imagined. Don’t just submit. Surrender all your aspirations for yourself. I would say God has greater for you than you could ever imagine. Never give up. Today is a new day and tomorrow will be even better.

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Where Do You Walk?

Posted on 2022/07/21 by JimR, Chaplain

This will be a short post today. This thought came from a post on FB.

Romans 8:1 – “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.”

A fellow minister that I hold in high standing said this morning.

“Somehow people find it easier to believe that God is ready to judge and condemn them rather than finding it easy to believe that he wants to bless and save them.”

The keyword to knowing which realm people “walk” in will let you know why they don’t know better.

Stop cutting down trees (men) and start with learning how to plant, prune, water, and fertilize. Then we can watch God bring forth the new ones into the Kingdom of God.

The question that arose in my mind is how can anyone witness to someone of the saving grace of our savior without a solid walk in the spiritual realm. We will never convey the true need for salvation without it.

Those of us that are saved need to not let complacency become the norm for us. We need to awaken daily to the freshness of our need to walk continuously in the spirit in order that we recognize those that have not found their way and have reached the point of realization of salvation was meant for them.

Be a good husbandman and pick the ripe ones in this world that are ready for harvest. There is much low-hanging fruit ready for you to encounter today. Let your spiritual awareness kick in and go to them and introduce them to their gift of life everlasting.

Posted in Abundant life, Christian, Christian Mission, Common Sense, Follow God, God's direction, God's Guidance, Love, Mission Work, Patience, Possibilities, Priorities, Respect for Life, Salvation, Sobering Thoughts, Spiritual, Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Investment, Spiritual Investments | Leave a comment

The Day of Vengeance

Posted on 2022/07/18 by JimR, Chaplain

For some reason this morning God took me to Jeremiah 51. It pertains to the desolation of Babylon. My mind wants to overlay it with our country’s present situation. Can it be?

We’ve wasted our inheritance in the last twenty or so years. Our country has become as Babylon. True Christianity in the United States is becoming a valuable treasure to find. We’ve allowed the wolves and foxes to destroy the vines of our morality and Biblical principles. We have sat by the side idly letting the world overtake our inheritance.

I’ve read FB pages of renowned ministries with people that babble nonsense as the true definition of scripture. Christocentrism has lost its place in our pulpits. Every so-called Christian I have seen blindly goes about espousing their beliefs as being the truth when they utterly fail to seek Christ as the centerpiece of their lives.

My heart has been troubled for a while now and this morning the Lord opened up to me why. The following paragraph has left me crying and trembling.

Prepare yourself before the Lord. His time of vengeance is coming upon us. If you think you’re escaping this time in some unseen mysterious disappearance you will be sadly disappointed. God never meant for you to escape. He meant for you to endure through tribulation, no, not only endure but overcome through it. Prepare your hearts, people of Zion. Your day of victory is at hand.

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Transparency

Posted on 2022/07/15 by JimR, Chaplain

This post isn’t about defeat. It’s about victory. But I must share this for those that think every day is peaches and cream.

I was mostly at fault in an auto accident last Sunday. I made a left turn knowing in my mind I had time to make the turn, but someone that was speeding, verified by two witness reports, hit my vehicle in the passenger door where my wife was sitting. I should have not turned, but this area of town is renowned for some rather daredevil drivers. I guess I could include myself from the turn that I was cited for. My wife was not injured. The vehicle we were in is a very safe one, but the crash was enough to turn it into salvage. I went by the salvage yard today to retrieve my license tag. The SUV is gone. Now comes the hunt for another as near like it as possible. I just got word that the insurance company had paid my lender for the market price of it which paid all but a small amount of the loan. I already have one picked out and I’m waiting for the dealer to finish prepping it for purchase.

I won’t go into details surrounding the moments following the accident, but it took a day for me to realize what had happened. My wife and her sister in the back seat could have been seriously injured, but by the grace of God, they are fine. The people in the vehicle that hit me have not contacted me so I have only the knowledge that they refused treatment at the scene and left in another vehicle.

However, this has not left me in a good way mentally. I’ve replayed the accident in progress as it happened over in my mind several times and hope to never have that memory be the first of more. I hope it to be the only time in my life this ever happens.

As I have stated in the past I suffered from severe depression with anxiety attacks. This week has been rather a playback of the depression part. My mind has been foggy and I wish to sleep all the time and don’t really want to go out. I have no interest in anything. If I were to let it I would go into a deep abyss and stay there.

This is where the learning process I’ve have endeavored to become has kicked in. I cannot and will not let depression be my way of life. I’ve talked to God and you know what? He is talking to me. What stablizes me is that He has told me He has everything under control and I’ll be alright. Oh, I’m waiting at times for some invisible hammer to drop, but still, I find comfort in God being in control. My wife and those around me hold me up and I find there are certain things that happen that let me know God is true to His Word.

Right after the accident I was threatened by the husband of the woman that hit my car with hers. The police stepped between us and I realized that my friends from the Warriors Motorcycle Ministry were there along with the City Harvest Reapers Motorcycle Ministry. They all gathered around and the husband left. They all stayed with me till the other party left the scene. If you’ve ever seen a motorcycle gang, there’s a close resemblance except these guys are Christian. Most of them came from a rough background.

I was actually able to drive my SUV back home the couple of miles, but when I turned into my driveway a tie-rod end broke making it undriveable. How’s that for the providence of God?

To move on a bit, the next day after the accident my niece called me to tell me goodbye. She stopped her dialysis last November because of severe allergic reactions and she could not deal with it anymore. To add to this she is not viable for a kidney transplant due to other issues. She told me she was informed most don’t live much more than six weeks after stopping dialysis, so she has done well to be here still. However, now she is fading in her memory, hasn’t eaten in six weeks, and has lost a tremendous amount of weight. We talked for some time and I assured her that what she decided was an informed decision that she made and not to let anyone fill her with nonsense. I concluded that I have to allow her wishes to be hers. I feel she is at peace with it. Then. . .I hung up the phone and cried.

Life is not guaranteed. My wife could have been seriously injured or killed. My niece is dying. Folks, it’s been a tough week, but we live and move and have our being in Christ Jesus. He is our rock. No matter what befalls us, including you that reads this will be crushed under the load for He will not give us more than we can bear.

If you’re feeling the weight of a load that you’ve been carrying this week just remember you can let it go in praise to God. He is more than willing to forgive you for yours or my own shortcomings and we can rise up tomorrow afresh and walk in His will for our lives.

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