Quirky? Who’s Quirky? Is That a Mouse?

Posted on 2018/06/15 by JimR, Chaplain

Something has triggered my thoughts again today.  So here goes.

I’m going to go back a few years to start.  I was talking with my brother Mike one evening and I thought during that conversation that it would be a good time to tell him I had met someone with whom I found a strong connection with.  When he asked who she was the first words out of his mouth was that she was a really great person, but she was a bit quirky.  Quirky, you say. . .   Hummm.

All I knew at the time was this woman was changing my life forever and a day.  She is intelligent, crafty (in the crafts and knickknacks sort of way), loving (unconditionally), caring to a fault and the list goes on.  We are inseparable.

The thing with meeting this late in life means we have developed certain things that we do that are ingrained in us.  With us, I think it’s a case of OCD (CDO, since I have to have the letters in order).  We do the same functions, but we go entirely different directions from each other coming to the same results.  You would think that is great.  Right?  No.  Not when she’s watching me or I’m watching her do whatever it is that is being done.

Let me run on up to today to what triggered this post.  I got into the shower and turned around to find what’s in this Mousepicture sitting on the shelf in the shower.  At first I went into the “what the heck is that?” mode.  It looked like a mouse.  But what would a mouse be doing in my shower?  Upon closer observation I found it to be something Libby had done.  You see, I think it comes from being one generation away from the Depression era of our parents and grandparents that still invades our generation’s way of thinking.  What she had done was taken two or three small pieces of soap she had left over and stuffed them in a small  piece of nylon hose.  This way she can get the most of the leftover soap bars.  That my friend is smart thinking of days gone by.

I can’t get away without saying I have my quirks, too.  After years of refinement in Frying panpreparation for work the next day, I cannot go to bed without setting up for breakfast the next morning.  There’s one thing I can’t stand.  I don’t like disorganization when there’s still the fog of sleep in my head, so I put together the coffee and water in the coffee maker the night before, but then I have to abide by Libby’s rule.  Don’t set the timer so it doesn’t bother her listening to the machine gurgling before we get up.  Why set up the timer for after we get up.  The water I put in the maker has to be hot water.  Somehow the coffee doesn’t taste just right if I put cold water in the maker the night before by her thinking.  Then I lay out the small frying pan, spatula and small bowl on the stove.   When we get up I scramble two eggs with cheese and bacon bits for Libby and then on the other counter is my paper towel with a butter knife for toast.  Once her breakfast is done I move the toast over to beside the stove and cook one or two eggs with cheese with bacon bit (real bacon, btw) for myself.

But before this process starts the coffee is brewing and my cup is filled to cool while I’m cooking.  By this time Libby is coming into the kitchen and her breakfast is ready.  All this time the local news is on so we can catch what the weather is like outside.  If we deviate from this course, I might as well go back to bed.

Now to a place back in time.  My first encounter with her ways was when I had cooked collards, more than likely.  I went to get my hot pepper vinegar in the pantry and it wasn’t there.  Libby had moved it, because according to her (and my Aunt Doris as well) it wasn’t were it was supposed to be.  She moved the garbage bags twice on me and the second time I spent a good half hour looking for them.  These are not the only things she moved, because they were not were she supposed they should be.  Okay.  I’m good with it, but when she’s not there to inform me I spent a good bit of time looking for stuff.

I wasn’t angry, just lost, but I do stuff that she goes behind me and “fixes”.  The dishwasher is never loaded right.  Now, I just put stuff in there and let her arrange it.  It’s a done deal.  No issues.  Sometimes I just wash up what little bit that is in the sink and leave the dishwasher out of the equation.

I wash clothes, too.  Doesn’t that make most women cringe?  Whites and colors together kind of stuff.  Delicates with jeans?  No.  I do wash white separate and delicates with delicates.  I don’t wash towels with some things, but socks are okay with my underwear, I suppose.  Libby told me one time not to wash anything.  She’d do it, but I’d sneak a load in here and there.  I do wash the bed sheets once a week at least.  Primarily because she hates making a bed.  I don’t mind.

Aside from quirkiness, this still may fall into that category.  I don’t know.  This gets scary some times.  She can be miles away and know what I’m thinking.  She’ll want something for dinner and when she gets home from work that’s what I prepared.  We can go to a restaurant and without consultation order the same exact thing.  This kind of thinking isn’t narrowed to just food.  She will look at me sometimes and say “Tell me what I’m thinking”.  I go “Oh no.  Really?”  I’m not going to explain that one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Cooking, Family, Home, Humor, Love, Memories, Old Age, Ponderings, Random Thoughts, Soulmate, Spiritual Investment | Leave a comment

So Many Songs

Posted on 2018/06/13 by JimR, Chaplain

For those of you who know my background through time, you’ll remember me for thatmusic-rainbow period which we were present together in.  My teens were my peers with which I went to school with from grade 1 through 12.  We started together, we finished together.  We created a lot of memories together.  Those years set the tone for how I viewed life.

In my twenties I was in construction, the military and back to construction, insurance sales and then DuPont spinning in Leland, NC.  There was a whole new crowd.  Mostly those with whom I worked with.  There were few outside of that since swing shift didn’t present a normal life outside of work.  I had quite a few friends at work, but when I went home I had little time to do much else.

Once I became a solid Christian in my late twenties, a whole new cadre of friends came about.  From my Baptist upbringing to the tongue-talking crowd I found life really can change for me.  I am writing this as a microcosm of what I could say, but the thread of music plays throughout my entire life and the types of music changed with me as well.

I played drums with my friend, Dwight, who I grew up with, and my brother Danny.  We had a few antics.  The Lemon Tree Inn a couple of times. . .and that’s all I got to say about that.  Top forty and beach music was what we liked.  I was always listening to music.  All types of music.  Country, Pop, Rock, R&B, Blues, Motown, Jazz.  You name it I probably have it in my collection.  I have nearly sixteen thousand songs on my computer.

I got waylaid on drumming for a few years, but when I started going to church in Richlands I learned the Pentecostal hoedown.  If you’re Pentecostal, you’ll understand what I’m saying.  From that I progressed over the next 25 years until God told me to move out of the way for new talent with His callings.  During all that time I played with many different musicians.  There were a lot of good musicians and some just learning that turned into pretty good musicians.  There were not many of less talent.  The highlight of music was to play with Wayne Cochran.  He passed away in the fall of 2017.  He was known for CC Ryder fame and became a pastor in Miami.  I’ve also been in the heart of Blue Grass talent in Spartanburg, SC in the 80’s.  I do remember Sharon White was there.  She is the wife of Ricky Scaggs.

Only one kid who thought he was going to be a drummer, but I ended up buying his set of Ludwigs when he finally gave it up for lack of desire and rhythm.

I laid it all down till the last couple of years when I find myself wanting to try learning the saxophone.  Granted I’ve been slack at it, I still have not lost the desire to learn.  I will push on more so at some point.

What started this writing was from someone posting on Facebook a song by the Eagles.  It’s called Wasted Time – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0SvsinEUfY

It brought back many of the songs I remember WHEN they became hits.  If you came from my time, stop a moment and let that sink in.  The Beatles first song of five on Ed Sullivan was All of My Loving.  I was up watching this moment live on TV that first time.  I watched them evolve into the hippie free love group.  I have still got several of their albums now, but my first was Yellow Submarine.  The onslaught of British groups after that were numerous.

The Rolling Stones, the Kinks, the Who and the Yardbirds were just a smattering of them.  Oh it is a large list.  One other I liked was The Dave Clark Five.

About the age of sixteen I heard the darker side of rock starting to come to light.  The Doors album of the same name was my first of this group.  This was revolutionary.  They were a west coast band.  Ironically, I had been to Paris only a month or so before Jim Morrison was found dead in the same city.  I was stationed in Germany during 71 and 72.

But, oh the music for me didn’t start then.  The Hollys, Fats Domino, The Beach Boys, Elvis, Roy Orbison, Jerry Lewis, The Drifters and the list is extensive to include Motown.  There is no way I can list all the artists of the days of my youth.  I learned how to play the drums to Roy Orbison’s music like that of Pretty Woman, Only the Lonely and You Got It.  One of his quotes makes me think about my wife Libby.

“Pretty woman, I don’t believe you, you’re not the truth. No one could look as good as you, mercy.”

The 70’s brought me Billy Preston, Aerosmith, ELO, Pink Floyd, The Allman Brothers, Lynrd Skynrd (which actually started in the 60’s), CCR.  Awe the list is too much to type.  You tell me your favorite.  I’m sure they are on my list.  I’ve not even scratched the surface.

By the 80’s my musical tastes had transformed to Christian music with Petra being the first Christian Rock group.  Then Stryper, The Resurrection Band.  The most influential of the early years was Keith Green.  Right on up to today’s Christian music has bloomed into a whole new level with some of my favorites being Big Daddy Weave, Rend Collective, Third Day and For King and Country just to start.

My life is in God, but without music, life is very bland. A lot of time when I’m in meditation it is usually in song.  It’s a very important part of my life.  When I hear music I automatically grab the beat and I’m on it.  It is what drives me.

Music can take you through the whole range of emotions in life.  If you’re down, music can lift you up.  It can make you cry to hear the lyrics and the melody combined into not just a song, but an experience.  Where words are simple language, you will music pulls those words together into one rhythmic experience.

Rhythm is what took me to music.  The sound of the drums that gathers the order of the other instruments into a lock step to carry the message riding on it.  Sped up or slowed down can change the attitude of the music.

I view music from this vantage with a 3 D view much like looking at a 3 D stick box drawing.  Are you looking at the top or are you looking at the bottom.  I see music much the same way.  It has depth.  Music is to me what numbers are to a mathematician.  Numbers are endless and music is much the same to me with the endless combination of notes, tones and lyrics.

I don’t know how much sense this makes to you, but to me it is way to short on the subject.  For all the musicians and bands I’ve mentioned it only represents probably ten percent of the bands I know and have listened to.  Think about how music has influenced you over the years of your life.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Christian, Memories, Music, Old Age, Ponderings | Leave a comment

You Can Call Me Jim, Or You Can Call Me Larry

Posted on 2018/06/06 by JimR, Chaplain

Just don’t call me late for supper.

Over the last few years confusion has arisen among friends and relatives as to my change of the name I’m called by.

First, my name is James Larry.  Therein lies the foundation of all the confusion.  All my life up until 2002 I was called by my middle name, which I don’t care to use.  I never did.  I equate it with something less than a solid masculine name.  However, James, or Jim, have a more solid quality.

So, why was I not called by my first name to begin with?  Well, as best I can tell, my mom wasn’t into calling “Jim” and having dad and me come to her beckon call for one of us or the other.  So Larry stuck.  Not saying it is not a manly name.  It’s just not for me.

When I started Civil Service I was called Larry and 28 years later I was called Mr. Rowe, which took some getting used to, but that’s another story.  Suffice to say when you spend that many years in one place you grow to look the part of the “Mr.” status.

Okay.  2002, after about 13 years into Civil Service I was hired into the IT department.  When I reported in I knew there was a member of the staff that went by Larry.  It didn’t take long to be told I could not be called by Larry, because they told me they already had one.  Now was my opportunity to start the change-over process.  I said, just call me James, which eventually was shortened to Jim.

My fifties was not the best decade of my life.  I went through MANopause, I guess you could call it.  It was worse than going through puberty.  Now, when I went through puberty, I thought at times I was dying from a pimple epidemic.  That and hair.  Everywhere.

My fifties were filled with anxiety attacks, which the first time that happened I was at work and wanted to run away, but my being said to stay put and work through it, which I did, but the depression afterward was horrible.  I was diagnosed with anxiety attacks and severe depression by my psychologist.  I went through that and divorce.  I made a lot of fringe decisions which I won’t divulge, but suffice to say I did successfully work through them.  God has never let me down.  He has given me the strength to rebuild.

I have shared the above to say this.  Through it all, I gained a new life and a new identity.  In the end I’ve become more stable and more understanding of others and their plights.  I’m no longer capable of judging someone for their misdeeds or circumstances.  I’ve learned a bent ear is better than a wagging tongue.  In all this Larry was gone.  He no longer existed.  Jim came forth out of the cocoon, no longer a worm, but a butterfly.

That’s not to say, if you call me Larry, I won’t answer, but just know I don’t exist in that life anymore.  What you see today is a totally different person than before.  I like the new me.  Most of all I love my Father in Heaven and my wife that I have.  There are still things that aren’t settled, but I know in time all be complete.  And I will see it.

So it’s Jim now.  It is representative of the new me.  Libby and me 20180590

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Christian, Divorce, Family, Health, Memories, Ponderings, Spiritual | Leave a comment

A Rainy Monday

Posted on 2018/05/28 by JimR, Chaplain

What else can be added to a note with this title.  I personally find it a day to reflect a bit. Tobacco barn 2 My eyes opened this morning around six fifteen with the morning light peering in around the window curtains, and sprawled out pups around the bed.  Libby was quietly sleeping.  All is well with the world.

I think sometimes I have nothing to write about, but surely there are blessings to be noted.  Allowed to open my eyes this morning and put my feet on the floor is a blessing all its own.  Being my age has been a simple blessing in itself.  Health has been a blessing although age rears its ugly head occasionally in the form of one thing or another and I have to remember from whence my strength comes from.  God is my source.  He’s my father.  It’s His life that courses through me, giving me purpose to carry on.

I sit here with one of my little girls, Fiesta.  She’s sleeping under my left arm.  She’s so peaceful.  She is the smallest of the three Papillons.  The other two are kind of chubby.  They are in the office with Libby while she is going through her stuff for Vacation Bible School coming up mid to late June or something like that.  Maybe it’s July.  I don’t remember.

We have a tropical storm that is affecting us causing us to have quite a bit of rain.  Now, mind you, I don’t care if it rains, but at some point it becomes a problem for farmers.  That is something I remember my dad having to deal with when I was a child and along till he quit farming.  I remember when the tobacco fields were so wet we would attempt to take a small one row Allis-Chalmer tractor down truck rows and end up with the four feet high wheels buried almost completely in the mud.  We could not even consider putting another tractor into the field to pull it out.  It had to sit there until the weather cleared.  I’ve worked tobacco fields in the rain for days.  The only consolation was the tobacco gum was not as bad on my hands when that much water was soaking me all day long.

One thing I did enjoy, though, was to go out to the barns under the shelter that joined them together where the tractors were parked.  We had tobacco racks where we hung green tobacco waiting to be hung in the barn.  With nothing on the racks at the time, I would get tobacco sticks together on the racks up high and put a quilt on them with a pillow of sorts right up under the tin roof.  This was best done when we had some rainy spells when I could just lay up there and listen to the rain on the tin roof.  There were always birds and squirrels chirping and squawking around the barn area.  Grandmother’s house was right across the ditch separating me at the barn.  Sometimes in that cool summer rain I could smell her cooking.  It made life as near perfect as anyone could ask for.

It’s nice to reminisce about the past.  Maybe I can catch that feeling again I had then.  I think I do.  I feel so peaceful when it happens.  Don’t you just enjoy moments like that?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Days in Small, Family, Home, Memories, Old Age, Ponderings, Sobering Thoughts, Spiritual Investment, Work | Leave a comment

Your Health, Men

Posted on 2018/04/06 by JimR, Chaplain

Many times over my life, especially since my mid to late thirties I have taken a tac Prescriptiontowards maintaining a healthy respect for my well-being.  We all know the general perspective of men is that they don’t go to the doctor unless they are really down and out sick.  Why is that?  Is it the idea they don’t feel the need because “I’m a man”?  Of course we have also seen the perspective of women over when a man gets sick and it becomes a major catastrophe compared to a woman with the same ailment.  Point is, just what are men supposed to do.

My wake up call was when I went for a job physical in my late thirties and the nurse took my blood pressure and sat back with a look of astonishment.  She asked me did I feel okay.  I said yes, but she retorted that my BP was 196/125.

Well, yes, I would say that is high, but I had recently been fired from my last job and I needed work badly.  I told her I wanted this job and with the new employer’s BCBS insurance I would definitely have this looked into.  The doctor was even more concerned, but passed me for the job and eventually I went to a doctor after I got health coverage.

I spent the next two years going from one medication to another trying to get my BP down.  Ace Inhibitors, water pills, etc, never seemed to work.  My BP stayed around 168/118 during this whole time.  All this time I wasn’t feeling that bad or so I supposed.  I had headaches and such without correlating the two as the reason why I felt this way.  I had eye twitches only to realize anxiety played the bigger part to all this.

I finally reached a point where I could relax more from the issues and circumstances around me.  My BP finally settled down to a respectable 125/80 and stayed there for several years.  I maintained diaries of my readings per the doctor’s request.  Once I settled down I was beset with missing/skipped heartbeats.  It would sometimes last for several days leaving me tired, but I struggled through trying to maintain a semblance of regular life.

Over the years I have recognized the patterns and with the help of God I have averted many attacks of anxiety and even panic attacks in my fifties.  BP has at times tried to rear it’s ugly head, but I have overcome it time and time again.  Anxiety has been my biggest problem.  I’m an analyst by nature and in doing analysis of circumstances causes the onset of high BP.

The good part is I have learned to rely on God to get me through.  Bad part is I relapse from forgetfulness of following through at some point and fall down on this knowledge and have to battle once again with it.  I really am much better at dealing with anxiety now than in my earlier years.

I remember once many years ago my dad went for a job physical with Texas Gulf Phosphate Mining Company.  He came home telling mom the doc told him he had very high BP.  His failure to follow up is what caught up with him at the age of 53 when he had his first heart attack.  The doctors that treated him said he was not a candidate for any type of surgery because of unchecked high BP had enlarged his heart to the point of no return.  He would eventually die of congestive heart failure.  He tried to tell me this would be my lot in life as well.  I told him I was not buying his predictions and it would not come to pass for me being gone by age sixty.

I’m telling this story for one reason.  We only have one life in this time.  We have only one body.  It’s not wise to sit around with a macho attitude thinking we can conquer or evade deterioration of our health.  It can’t be done.

From the youngest of years in life we need to look at and realize to live long and prosper, so to speak, we need to know maintenance of our bodies is of utmost priority.  It’s good to have this, but still there are many who have invincibility in our makeup and don’t heed signs of ill health causing habits and neglectfulness.

So, this writing is to you young men.  It’s time to go to the doctor.  Even if you don’t think you have a problem, go anyway.  Get the physical check up.  Blood work.  Get it done.  See what may be going on that you take for granted or may not even know about.  Men, if you take care of yourself like some of you do your favorite car, gun, truck, dog or whatever, you may just live to an age that you may have never seen otherwise.

The first part of seeing to your bodily health comes from a good spirit.  It comes from containing the urges of the soul that affect the body.  It comes from recognizing that God needs to be a priority.  From this top down approach you will find yourself living longer than others might predict for you.  You are your only connection that can prolong your life by making good, solid choices.  I found this to be so true.  The Spirit of God in your vessel gives your soul discipline and direction and the natural body will naturally follow suit, resulting in longer life.

I hope some guy who reads this will take heed.  Especially if you are young.  Don’t wait for a crisis.  Avert that by starting now setting priorities in life and working towards a goal that will lead to a long life with purpose.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Christian, Health, Ponderings, Spiritual, Spiritual Investment | Leave a comment

Serving to Protect

Posted on 2018/04/04 by JimR, Chaplain

I’m a firm believer of the Gospel.  I firmly believe that God has control of all things.  I do have some thought on the issue of protecting family and self.

Over the weekend I heard someone say they didn’t need a weapon in their house.  Jesus was their protection.  I, no doubt, believe that angels and the will of God play an ultimate part in protecting my household.

I also know that God expects us to play a part in our protection.  Anyone who has ever studied the Old Testament will tell you that it is a bloody testament.  It isn’t just from the sacrifice of bulls and goats, but also the blood of enemies from battles by the Israelite warriors against their enemies.  On into the New Testament are examples of blood letting mostly against Christians.  On into the Roman Empire’s hay day Christians were fed to lions for the entertainment of the cheering crowds.

Christians are described as The Army of God.  We fight spiritual fights against the powers of the invisible.  We have to be discerning of what is really happening, but we must not allow our bodies to be terminated or there will be no representation of God in the earth.  We have to be bold.

Some can indeed be martyrs, but there has to be some of us to be warriors of the faith.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Christian, Ponderings, Spiritual | Leave a comment

People Will Talk

Posted on 2018/03/30 by JimR, Chaplain

I’ve seen over the past few years that some of my friends on Facebook vent.  I can’t say how long the rant was pent up, so I don’t know how long their fuse is.  Personally, I don’t vent or rant until it comes to an extreme.

Okay.  Here it is.  For over a year I have been retired.  I worked 30 years in the military and civil service.  Folks, this is not brag. It’s fact and I can show you my DD214.  I served only 19 months active duty and the balance of six more years and five months in reserves.  In that 19 months active duty I went from an E1 to E4 in 9 months and was before the E5 board in my 15th month.  I didn’t get E5 because of the early out, but a recruiting was made by an officer for me to take on Warrant Officer’s Flight School and become a helicopter pilot.  During the end of the Vietnam War, if I’d been more perceptive to the coming end of it, I should have taken that on.  I didn’t because I understood it would have meant a stint in VC territory.  VC loved to kill pilots.  So, I went on back home and became and field engineer in heavy construction where I left off when I got drafted.

I will toot my horn, if I may.  I won’t go into everything I’ve done.  (Some wasn’t so good.)  If you want to know I have no problem telling you personally if you ask.  I left the outdoor work for indoor work as an insurance salesman.  Well, okay, this was seemly a failure on my part.  I was no good at it, but still made salesman of the month one of the 12 months I was there and made more money than my boss, which wasn’t anything to brag about.  Then one day a fellow worker and I struck out across the Cape Fear River to the DuPont plant and ended up as spinning operators over there.  To make this short, in the 8 years I was there I was groomed for supervision, but God had other plans and I turned it down and cross-trained in the staple side as a cutter/bailer operator.

After a failed business of my own I went to work as a store manager for the Bike n Surf Center in Jacksonville.  Over five years I increased the sales of bicycles from 359 some units a year to almost 800 units per year.  The owner was about the most impossible one human ever to work for or so I thought.  God saw that I got a good education in how to deal with difficult people in just that one person.  My customers were great.

Anyway, I’m skipping a lot here, but I eventually parlayed my military advantage as a Veteran of the Vietnam Era.  I was hired on at the Naval Hospital aboard Camp Lejeune.  I spent 28 years plus there and retired.

Starting as a Medical Records Technician (Clerk, then).  Then on to Department Head Secretary.  Then the job was abolished during a consolidation and I was moved to a position as an Office Automations Clerk.  My fledgling computer knowledge got me this position.  From there I became a Health Benefits Advisor in the defunct CHAMPUS office.  Shortly afterward that job as an insurance agent paid off because the hospital was hiring people to do insurance billing for supplemental policies of military folks.  I spent seven of the nine years in that office dealing with attorneys and insurance companies with and without assistance from the Naval Legal Service Office.

Then came the hard job.  Never having been formally trained in computer technology, I landed a job in IT as a Network Computer Security Manager.  I didn’t even know what an IP address was when I started in that department.  Inside of a year I had learned to set up and program a network on my own for the church I attended.  Seven years was spent in this department.  This is when I learned how to not like computer so much.  I did get certified in Security +.

Right after my separation from my wife I was offered the position as the hospital’s Command Personnel Security Manager.  I spent seven years there until I retired the end of December 2016 after seeing to the approval of almost two thousand individuals.  This brings me to the crux of my rant.

After I retired I heard the new person taking my position was bad-mouthing my work.  Two or more employees that know me defended my work and character, but I still hear he hasn’t decided to give me any slack.

I know who he is and I know he’s a retired officer from the Marine Corps.  He’s a buddy to the guy I worked under.  The guy I worked under is a retired Marine Warrant Officer and the Security Department Head is a retired Chief.  I give them all credit for reaching goals much further than I reached, but they got their jobs through the “buddy system” that works on the base without any consideration there are actually people outside their realm that know how to do what they do and some are likely better at it.  I worked my career in the hospital over a 28 year period, which to me qualifies me some respect.  Since leaving the “new guy” has done nothing but cut me down.  It’s been over a year and I still hear that his talk has not ceased to blame me for one thing or another.

I don’t dislike the guy.  Why should I?  He had his job handed to him in a relatively easy condition.  I had over 400-500 active duty to get clearances for so they would qualify for deployment.  Upper command would get very upset when an AD member had no clearance for overseas duty.  Most of my thrust was to get this done.  In the first couple of years I had conquered this task by in large, while handling a large number of new contract employees and civil service.  Civil Service came second to the three groups of people, and contractors last.  Contract employees came last in the line because of the volatility of the nature of contracts.  People in this arena came and went like water in a leaky bucket.  Many were gone before an investigation could even be completed.  I even did a background investigation of a former Miss America.  I had all types of people.

When I took the job it was a collateral duty.  The person handling the job also was a security patrolman and was in charge of random urinalysis testing for drugs.  The position was in very poor care.  This collateral duty went from person to person about every six months, so there was not any continuity under the watchful eye of someone to see a clearance process to an end.  I had my Secret clearance done during that time and it took three years to complete because my paperwork kept getting lost between people.  It wasn’t their fault.  They knew they wouldn’t be there that long so no one took ownership of the function.  Not even the Commanding Officer or staff up that high cared.

I took ownership of the position knowing full well the importance of it.  Still no interest was taken by senior leadership except for on officer who I’d known from the time he was an Ensign until he was a Captain.  He and I worked well together.  At the end we got a person in his place who questioned every thing done only because she had no idea of what I did nor did she really care.  I was left to make decisions above my pay grade.  At some point that became an issue when an employee was relieved of her duties for having several areas of shortcomings like lying about an illegal parent in-country.  She was mentally unstable, yet very smart.  She stated that she would leave work daily and go home and drink to excess and talked her problems with fellow employees who passed their concerns on to me along with her supervisor and department head, who I left the decision with to move her out of her position until an evaluation could be determined.  The chain of command finally took interest in what I was doing.

I have ought with the chain of command not doing their job properly by essentially paying her off to settle a lawsuit she eventually brought against the hospital.  I caught flack about it, but I didn’t make the decision.  I made the recommendation for her clearance to be put on hold.  Doing so prohibited her from doing her job.  Her department head had to make the decision on what to do with her over all.

That being a rabbit trail, I must get back on subject.  These are things I had to deal with.  But I did them with care and by the instructions allowing for me to do what I did.  I never wavered from doing what was right.

There were many areas to judge a person’s ability to pass or fail a security investigation.  No one area was or should have been a deciding factor in their staying or dismissal.

One of the biggest issues I faced numerous times was people in financial trouble by one or more reasons.  Most of the issues involved divorce, medical problems, unemployment or other unforeseen issues that did not mean I would cut them loose from employment.  Most of the time the worst cases were relegated to conditional clearances where I would sit and counsel with the individuals about their situation and how to plan out a method of getting through the problems to a more secure financial life.  Two negatives I must say here that would eliminate a person was lying that they had any debt and had habitual criminal offenses involving money.  Irresponsibility to debt is something I could not tolerate.  This lot of people was small.  Even then, if a person appeared to misrepresent their debt I would interview them about the debt to find out if they were doing so because of embarrassment or to hide some sort of criminality behind it.  If I find the embarrassment of debt was the major cause for misleading me, I would overlook that and go to conditional approval.  If they failed to follow the conditions then dismissal was recommended.

The new guy who took over after I left doesn’t consider the individuality of the investigation process.  He’s too cut and dry.

The following is why I did what I did.  Being a follower of God, the Bible and its principle’s I compare the Old Testament to the cut and dry side of the law of sin and death.  The Old Testament says if you did something wrong you were liable to die for it without proper sacrifice.  But, under the New Testament the Law of Grace was given where unto Jesus died on the cross to reconcile the believer to the Father.  Even when the harlot was brought to Jesus and asked for her stoning, He only stooped at put his finger into the dirt and began to write.  Some have ventured to say those present demanding her stoning were having their names written in the earth who had committed sin with the harlot.  I tend to think so, because when Jesus asked who among you is without sin, cast the first stone.  All of them walked away.  Then Jesus didn’t condemn the harlot for her sin.  He said to her to go and sin no more.  There is therefore no condemnation to them who believe.  I think she became a believer at that very moment.

That, my friend is how I judged people under investigation for work at Naval Hospital Camp Lejeune.  I’ve done no wrong.  I think I afforded each individual the opportunity to come clean with me and I would go to great length to see to it they were properly functioning employees in the command.

If the new guy doesn’t like the way I did things, he’s free to come to me and talk it out.  I hope he can find it in his heart to learn more about human nature from God’s view.

This has followed me even into my bus driving.  Kids on my bus get a fair shake.  Not to say I don’t get loud when one hangs their head or arms out the window.  Before I let them off the bus I explain to them why I don’t want them to do that.  I’ve had two friends get very serious injury from passing vehicles.  One was inside the vehicle.  The other was standing beside his vehicle on the side of the road.  Both, by all rights, should have died.  I don’t want my kids on the bus to get injured in such a fashion by a passing vehicle.

I’m not a mean, inept person.  I don’t hate people.  Some times I say things I probably shouldn’t, but give me time and I’ll make that right.

Sean Covey

“Isn’t it kind of silly to think that tearing someone else down builds you up?”
― Sean Covey

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Christian, Ponderings, Spiritual Investment, Work | Leave a comment

Lost Possibilities

Posted on 2017/12/16 by JimR, Chaplain

children progressionWhile watching a documentary called Anne Frank’s Holocaust on the History Channel this morning while sitting wrapped up on the couch one comment cemented itself in my mind.  “The loss of a child is the loss of possibilities”.

As many of us know, Anne Frank’s Diary was a story of the stark knowledge of German concentration camps.  Various people commented on the trail she and her family led right up until her death only weeks away from the liberation of the holocaust prisoners.  The keyword “almost” dangles above the hopes of being liberated for which she did not see.

Two of the commentators were friends of hers who did make it through.  They spoke of her last days as she wasted away in a camp where prisoners died at such a rate that the camp’s Officer in Charge could not dispose of the bodies and eventually just left them in piles by the thousands within the camp’s fences.

It was during those last few minutes of the documentary that I heard the commentator speak of the children who died by saying the above statement.

Stop for a moment.  Please?  I said to Libby just a few minutes ago that this loss of life in such numbers will happen again.  She told me to not have such a negative attitude.  It was then that I heard in my spirit the voice of the prophets of the Old Testament.

Amos 5 is a chapter that laments for Israel.  In a verse or two there is a positive nature inbeded in  verses 4, 6, 14, 15.  In this chapter God laments, calls to repentance and eventually to those who heed not, judgment.

In fear and trembling I speak not prophesy, but from the knowledge of study and observation.  Judgment is coming to America.

Only a generation, maybe two ago, this country has digressed from a Republic of states into a country that held great admiration from other nations to the anarchy that threatens our very fiber.  With all the world’s governments undermining our integrity we find there are people of our own citizenry that plot treasonous deeds upon this nation.

I’m losing my main thought here, so perhaps I should back up a moment.  I consider what the person in the program said.  Many little foxes have been spoiling the vine of this great nation for decades.  Removing prayer from schools and most any function on national interests.  Legalizing abortion.  Oh, this can go on, but this is my two point short list.

What I’m aiming for is that there are many options for unwanted children other than ending life before birth.  Life begins at conception.  That first split cell starts the process of human life.  That first heartbeat seals the conception.

Psalm 17:14 says: From men which are thy hand, O LORD, from men of the world, which have their portion in this life, and whose belly thou fillest with thy hid treasure: they are full of children, and leave the rest of their substance to their babes.

Children in the womb are hidden treasures.  Treasures are full of promise.

Ecclesiates 11:5 says: As thou knowest not what is the way of the spirit, nor how the bones do grow in the womb of her that is with child: even so thou knowest not the works of God who maketh all.

These treasures are wrapped in the womb of the mother to be unveiled in it’s time.  This means there is reason for this child before it’s born even though we know not its purpose.

Isaiah 44:24 says: Thus saith the LORD, thy redeemer, and he that formed thee from the womb, I am the LORD that maketh all things; that stretcheth forth the heavens alone; that spreadeth abroad the earth by myself;

Even to all of mankind, all life is created by God.  Lost and saved members of this earth.  All life even in the womb has purpose, hence comes the question, why do we as Americans purpose in our hearts that an unborn child has no purpose other than useless flesh to be cast aside, because we don’t want it?

So, the words of the commentator stuck in my spirit like a spear cast into my heart.  Why do we have so little concern for unborn children?  Each lost child, unborn or not may be the prodigy of great possibilities.  How many have died needlessly in the name of selfishness for a moments pleasure?  One of the possibly millions may have had the talent to study the depths of science to cure many types of diseases.  How many may have been the one who saved another’s life from a deadly circumstance?  How many may have been great contributors from their talents to society that could uplift the hearts of the beholder?  What if.  Just what if.

The loss of a child is very well the loss of many possibilities.  I know some may be ne’er do wells, but what if.  What if even their journey in life taught a lesson to others that leads to a positive outcome?

Search your heart.  I leave it there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Abortion, Children, Ponderings, Possibilities, Sobering Thoughts, Spiritual Investments | Leave a comment

Dangling Participle

Posted on 2017/11/25 by JimR, Chaplain

Life sped by, heading towards demise.

Okay, okay.  So I started with a dangling participle, but that’s about it.  Just enough to grab your attention.

I’m nowhere near the end, although I know some people who would consider me knocking on death’s door.

I’ve written many pages about my life in my previous blog.  It is filled with one hundredMe 20170601 twenty some pages up to my age 28.  I hope to get back to putting it back together in this blog, even if it’s in it’s rough form.  A few pages are already posted.

Of late, I’ve been bombarded by the demise of quite a few people of whom I had no idea would be gone.  I don’t want to be morbid.  I just want to note the fragility of life.  From the vantage point of youth there seems to be an eternity to enjoy and accomplish lofty goals.

During this phase of life we think of all the things we intend to do in life feeling we have so much time to accomplish it.  Then one day we inevitably come to grip with the fact that we are coming towards the twilight of life and the objectives we had set early in life are no longer available due to time constraints.  Some of those objectives are time consuming.  When we weigh the time to accomplish those goals and time left to enjoy the fruit of them we find it would be short.

As I traveled through my career in Civil Service I found that the longer you stay in one profession you will see many go before their time.  One was my closest of friends.  She died from cancer at the young age of 53.  An even younger lady in, of all places, the tumor board registry office passed away from kidney cancer.  Cancer seems to eclipse other diseases by leaps and bounds.  I only watched one Hospital Chief pass away from the results of AIDs.

Over the years I watched the passing of my dad and mom, my grand parents on both sides.  Then in 2002 my next to youngest brother took his life.  It is sad, but I understand the frailty of the mind when depressed.  That I’ve experienced, too.  Then the brother next to me died of heart failure in 2006.  After my divorce I found a relationship with my remaining two brothers and I felt secure in them and developed a new foundation of family, yet, again, cancer claimed the middle brother not long after.  This now leaves me with my youngest brother.  He lives so far away in Hawaii.  To think back, I was entering the Army when he was just beginning to pull himself up from crawling to walking as a toddler.

I’ve lost three cousins with whom I had spent time with growing up.  Two of them went by way of cancer.  One by a cyst of some sort around his cervical spine.

What makes it hit home is that I’m the oldest of all these brothers and cousins.

I told my dad, who told me I’d die by age sixty, that I was not buying his prophesy.  Why?  Because God told me I’d live well beyond that age simply by following what He told me.  I’m now 67 years old and in relatively good health for my age.  The only down side is I watch others disappear into the mist of the unknown, although we are assured as believers that there is something beyond.

0528171020God gave me another lease on life when Libby came along.  I was on the fast track to death early on, but she came along and has been that gift from God that allows me to have a fresh new outlook for the future yet to come here in this plane.  I am enjoying a fresh new awakening of my faith in God.  He has set Libby and I in a church body that is thriving.  Libby has experienced God’s salvation and understands the totality of forgiveness.  She has been filled with the Holy Ghost and He has energized her spirit to seek Him with all diligence.  She is only a short few weeks of having read the entire Bible for the first time.

Yes.  I am nearing the twilight of life, but I come running to it with renewed vigor and strength to still accomplish things in life.

My words to those of you who read this.  Never, ever speak negative about anything.  Always allow a wide berth for positive thought in your spirit that is inspired by God.  Don’t apply yourself even to the message of the power of positive thinking.  Even when negative circumstances approach you, don”t look at it’s possible damage.  Look at it as a challenge that is to be overcome.  Let God be your power and positive results will follow you.

So.  Great things are coming, you will do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Christian, church, Death, Dreams, Family, Health, Home, Old Age, Ponderings, Sobering Thoughts, Spiritual Investment | Leave a comment

No More Dangling the Carrot

Posted on 2017/10/04 by JimR, Chaplain

As I begin to type this entry, I have yet to determine a title for it.  So, to start I’ll say this writing came from my dream state last evening.

I suppose the dream was influenced by last evening’s musician’s meeting.  You see, I’m attempting to learn a new instrument and I need to find a way to learn more by picking up notes in songs by listening and picking them out.  I don’t read music nor probably ever will.  I play by ear and feel the music.  I’ve played drums for decades and never picked up a lesson under a professional instructor.  I love this instrument, but I’ve always wanted to play another instrument of some sort.  I came to realize a single note instrument was my best avenue in the form of an alto saxophone.  I’ve learned to play only one song in two keys and I’m fairly proficient at it.  From that i can pick up notes in other songs simply by listening.

I’ve learned to read people over my years of experience dealing with people and ascertaining their demeanor.  I felt from certain of those at the meeting last night that they didn’t really care if I was there.  Sorry, but it’s true.  I did, however, sense certain of them were receptive of me, but for me to experiment with my new instrument I was relegated to sit in the sound booth way away from the platform.  That’s okay, though.  I totally understand.  I’m new.  I’m not experienced with my new endeavor.  I don’t want to interfere with the flow of practice for the upcoming service of which the practice was intended for.

The end of practice did lend me a moment on the drums long enough to prove my worthiness at actually having a valid talent to do so, even though I have not played in nearly a year.  It had my redeeming moment, I suppose.

But to go deeper into this subject in my mind this morning, I have to tell about my dream last night.  I usually have pleasant dreams, but last night was more combative in nature.  I was dealing with my past position in security.  I know since I left my name has been used in less than a desirable light.  I’m sure had I been there still I would be chastised for my work methods.  Sure, I was not able to get everyone in a staff of 2500 people vetted for their strictest nature of checks.  But, I knew the vast majority of the staff and I knew there were bad apples, but I also knew the majority of the staff was trustworthy.  If I knew someone was not, I recommended action on the part of their supervision.  I never took it upon myself personally to terminate someone’s employment.  If a supervisor deemed the person worthwhile to work, I left the responsibility of the person’s actions to their supervisory staff.  I would surmise I had about four hundred in process, or had been underway of process of some nature in terms of questionable needs.

When I took the position from a military staff member, who might have had six months time at most in the position as a collateral duty, I found it woefully in need.  There were probably over a thousand staff members who had not been vetted at all.  Many of them were active duty.  I was tasked in the onset of my taking charge to get the active duty vetted ahead of anyone else, because these staff members were not deployable without a clearance.  Civil Service staff was second and thirdly, contract staff.  I did initiate everyone who walked through my door to the process if they had not been.  In the seven years I was there I saw to completion just shy of two thousand clearances to completion.  That’s no small task.

Contract staff fell to the bottom of the list because of the nature of contract changes and higher attrition rates than that of the Civil Service staff.  I had to keep a closer eye on them while I worked to get the active duty staff in order.

In my dream I found myself in contention with my successor over how I performed my job while I was there.  I’m sure he doesn’t know from where I found this program nor how much time I spent seeing 25 to 35 people a day for the first couple of years trying to get everyone into the process.  I’m quite sure he isn’t seeing that many people now a days.  My last drop by there he was sitting alone at his computer just gazing into a screen of information.  There was no crowd waiting to be seen like it was when I was there the first half of my tenure.  He has no idea of the work I did to get the program to where it was when I left it.

I woke up this morning feeling exhausted from battling, once again, the nature of what I previously wrote about.  I did my best.  I did my duty.  I find myself to have accomplished a difficult task.  Had I not, my successor would be completely overwhelmed with unvetted people.

Some people have lost their jobs needlessly since I left, though, because of the heartless nature of my successor.  He goes by the book.  If they don’t line up, they are gone.  I worked with people to get them through the appeals process as much as possible.  Folks most of the staff in question were in that position because of financial issues.  Eighty percent is my guess.  I couldn’t go by such a bureaucratic plumb line.  In that form, you take away the human factor and base it strictly on something that has no positive outcome.

Oh, I’m sure some people lied, which to me, would be a more serious issue, but financial issues don’t get fixed for an individual if you take their job away from them simply because they had a rough patch in their lives.  Most found themselves thusly simply because of layoffs, medical issues or divorce.  I counseled with most of these people on how to recover from it and let them continue to work while monitoring their progress.  I had some come back to me as much as two years later to thank me for allowing them to work and rebuild their credit to the point they were able to finally buy a nice home and live on par in life again.  I feel more contented in knowing I helped someone this way than to throw them back on the street without a job and thereby compounding their financial woes.

I’m sure there were other issues such as legal immigrant status.  Homeland Security had approved one young lady to work and have legal status, but I found out after I left she was fired because she was not a citizen.  She had told me she was working towards naturalization, which I don’t know for sure where she stood on that, but she did have a right to work.  Still, they fired her.  She’d been working there long enough to have established that she was dependable and forthright.  There was no reason she should have been fired.  Yet bureaucracy won out.

The answer came to me in the form of an article I read when I got up this morning about bureaucracy.   It’s written by Hannah Arendt’s writing called Prediction on Violence in Modern Society.  It has to do with the increase of violence when bureaucracy takes hold and no one can get an answer because this avenue of government breeds totalitarianism.

See if you recognize it here.  You call a company and get a call list of punch 1 for this punch 2 for that and punch 3 for another only to find the person at number three has bad English and the best you can make out is they don’t handle your type of issue.  That my friend is bureaucracy.  There is no meaningful answer to your situation nor will there ever be.  How does that make you feel?

My dad always dangled that carrot in front of me when I was growing up.  I never made the grade.  Almost did a few times, but that carrot would swing on the end of that line away from me.  When I hear such things and feel the negative feelings now a days I think back to those days.  People still either don’t want you around or if they do let you be around they dangle the carrot.  I’ve over that.  I will not be put in a demeaning state of mind.  Some people simply don’t know me and until they do I can deal with that.  I will prove myself sufficient for the day without resorting to some extreme.  Violence, as the article state, is the end result of frustration with bureaucracy.  It’s not my style.  I adapt and then overcome.

I’m not mad or upset with anyone.  I give people credit for not knowing me first and foremost.  Get to know me.  I think you’ll find me amenable if it’s reasonable.

Posted in Dreams, Ponderings, Sobering Thoughts, Work | Leave a comment